Well, he praised you in all sort of ways, but then he started saying it's complicated and that you deserve better than him. You know, he's a pretty sad drunk.
But it does sound like he likes you a lot. At least physically.
[ For a long stretch of minutes, he leaves this on read. He considers leaving it on read forever and refusing to deal with whatever the fuck this is.
He could almost laugh, though. Reiner saying he deserves better. He knows that's not true. Of the two of them, he's the worse one, though they're the same in so many ways. ]
What did he say about me? Or should I just not ask.
[ Surely Jean regrets starting this conversation by now. ]
But it IS complicated. I know the future and he doesn't. I don't think anyone understands me like he does. But he doesn't know that he does. Anyway none of that matters here and now but he's still got some lame ass idea that he has a mission to fulfil. There's no mission here. It doesn't have to matter anymore.
[ Eren knows better than anyone that of course it matters, that they cannot divorce themselves of the things they have done. Still! ]
[He's regretted starting it ever since he pressed sent on the second message.]
If you must know. He said you're gorgeous and your ass is amazing. That's it.
[Jean won't deny Eren's good looking, but he doesn't want to think about anything beyond that.]
I did try to tell him that if you're having a good time with each other, why make things too complicated. Your both adults and hang out with whoever you feel like hanging out with.
idk, I'm not even sure why I'm talking about this with either of you. It doesn't really matter to me what you guys do. As long as you're not fucking murdering each other.
[It's actually quite wholesome, what Eren's saying. Jean can't believe this turn of events, but he prefers it over the awkwardness that things started with.]
I don't see why you couldn't be.
Reiner does need to get out of his mission mindset, but maybe with time he will.
[There's no guarantee to it, but hey, anything was possible.]
One more thing he said was that he wants to see you smile again. And honestly, so do I. A smile suits you better.
I know it's not just something you can do by snapping your fingers, but I hope you will find a reason to smile at some point.
I don’t know that it's possible for me to be something different. I'm trying.
[ He struggled with this in Folkmore too, but he's never really figured out if he's just doomed to be a monster and nothing else.
He's surprised by that last part, not only that Reiner said it but that Jean feels the same. He's been oblivious to it. He knows he's changed, but he doesn't think about this much because he's inside his own head. ]
You would, huh? Do I really not? I guess you're right.
I'm not sure when I really smiled last. Probably more than a year ago. Two years? It's been a long time. I'm not sure I remember how.
I don't always want to argue with you, it just happens.
What's wrong with fighting occasionally? That's what friends do. They fight when they're frustrated. It's not like you'd use 100% of your strength on me.
Maybe you just need to decide that, for a day, you'll just be you. Eren. Nothing else. Not even a titan. Just try and be you and nothing else.
There's nothing wrong with it sometimes. I just don't really want to anymore if we don't have to. I would never use my full strength against you, you're right.
[ This is...mostly true! At least he never plans to here, which is what matters. ]
I guess. I can't separate myself from being a titan, you know. That's who I am too.
But I don't like who I am, so...maybe that's what I'm trying not to be.
[ He almost deletes that but since they're having honesty hour, he hits send before he can change his mind. ]
You're making me look less mature for wanting to occasionally punch you in the face when you're weird.
[Grumpity grump grump.
That confession surprises him though. Not the fact Eren doesn't like himself, somehow Jean had a feeling, but the fact he'd admit it.]
You should try taking acting lessons. That might help you. Both in finding stuff to do and maybe finding a new you.
Though as annoying as you are, I don't mind the Eren Jaeger I know. The Eren I had to share a dorm with for far too long. That guy. Such a pain in the ass.
[ He might be kidding. He might not. Hard to say! ]
Did I? Maybe.
[ Whether he really doesn't remember or this is just patented Eren Jaeger gaslighting is anyone's guess. ]
I don't think acting is what I want to try. I should do something more than just fighting monsters I guess. I've never known what else to do besides fight.
[It's not something he feels like starting an argument over, but he happens to remember that conversation pretty well. Even if he'd rather not.]
Try different things, then. Video games, singing karaoke, painting... there's a lot of stuff to do around here. It might feel stupid to try some of the things, but at least you'd be trying.
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dreamsofwings) wrote2021-07-13 03:17 am
no subject
Well, he praised you in all sort of ways, but then he started saying it's complicated and that you deserve better than him. You know, he's a pretty sad drunk.
But it does sound like he likes you a lot. At least physically.
1/2
He could almost laugh, though. Reiner saying he deserves better. He knows that's not true. Of the two of them, he's the worse one, though they're the same in so many ways. ]
What did he say about me? Or should I just not ask.
He wasn't sad when he wrote me drunk.
2/2
[ HE GUESSES. ]
Definitely physically.
[ Surely Jean regrets starting this conversation by now. ]
But it IS complicated. I know the future and he doesn't. I don't think anyone understands me like he does. But he doesn't know that he does. Anyway none of that matters here and now but he's still got some lame ass idea that he has a mission to fulfil. There's no mission here. It doesn't have to matter anymore.
[ Eren knows better than anyone that of course it matters, that they cannot divorce themselves of the things they have done. Still! ]
no subject
If you must know. He said you're gorgeous and your ass is amazing. That's it.
[Jean won't deny Eren's good looking, but he doesn't want to think about anything beyond that.]
I did try to tell him that if you're having a good time with each other, why make things too complicated. Your both adults and hang out with whoever you feel like hanging out with.
idk, I'm not even sure why I'm talking about this with either of you. It doesn't really matter to me what you guys do. As long as you're not fucking murdering each other.
no subject
[ Files this away to grill Reiner about later. Good thing no one is around to see Eren's face go red. ]
It's usually a good time. There's a lot of shit between us.
I don’t do forgiveness.[ He deletes that last line, thinking better of it. It's true but why say it! ]
I don’t plan on murdering anyone unless I have no choice. We fought as titans and no one died.
No one's ever called me the things he does. Maybe I want to hold onto that, just for a little while.
I told him we can be something else here.
I want to believe that.
no subject
I don't see why you couldn't be.
Reiner does need to get out of his mission mindset, but maybe with time he will.
[There's no guarantee to it, but hey, anything was possible.]
One more thing he said was that he wants to see you smile again. And honestly, so do I. A smile suits you better.
I know it's not just something you can do by snapping your fingers, but I hope you will find a reason to smile at some point.
no subject
[ He struggled with this in Folkmore too, but he's never really figured out if he's just doomed to be a monster and nothing else.
He's surprised by that last part, not only that Reiner said it but that Jean feels the same. He's been oblivious to it. He knows he's changed, but he doesn't think about this much because he's inside his own head. ]
You would, huh? Do I really not? I guess you're right.
I'm not sure when I really smiled last. Probably more than a year ago. Two years? It's been a long time. I'm not sure I remember how.
Maybe someday.
no subject
And it's not like our world has ever been a reason to smile.
no subject
But I don’t want to fight with you. I've told you that.
There's nothing to smile about at home. There's things here that are good. I don’t know.
I'm not good at being a person. It's been a long time since I was just a person.
no subject
What's wrong with fighting occasionally? That's what friends do. They fight when they're frustrated. It's not like you'd use 100% of your strength on me.
Maybe you just need to decide that, for a day, you'll just be you. Eren. Nothing else. Not even a titan. Just try and be you and nothing else.
no subject
[ This is...mostly true! At least he never plans to here, which is what matters. ]
I guess. I can't separate myself from being a titan, you know. That's who I am too.
But I don't like who I am, so...maybe that's what I'm trying not to be.
[ He almost deletes that but since they're having honesty hour, he hits send before he can change his mind. ]
no subject
[Grumpity grump grump.
That confession surprises him though. Not the fact Eren doesn't like himself, somehow Jean had a feeling, but the fact he'd admit it.]
You should try taking acting lessons. That might help you. Both in finding stuff to do and maybe finding a new you.
Though as annoying as you are, I don't mind the Eren Jaeger I know. The Eren I had to share a dorm with for far too long. That guy. Such a pain in the ass.
Still is. But you're a lot more than that.
no subject
I'm not that Eren anymore.
[ This is nonsense. Another day he'll say "I'm the same as I was since I was born," which is a different brand of nonsense. ]
Acting lessons...
I'd be a shitty actor and you know I would.
no subject
That's not what you said last time. You said you're still who you've always been.
I know, but you could at least give it a try. You might be surprised.
no subject
[ He might be kidding. He might not. Hard to say! ]
Did I? Maybe.
[ Whether he really doesn't remember or this is just patented Eren Jaeger gaslighting is anyone's guess. ]
I don't think acting is what I want to try. I should do something more than just fighting monsters I guess. I've never known what else to do besides fight.
See? I'm not good at being a person.
no subject
[It's not something he feels like starting an argument over, but he happens to remember that conversation pretty well. Even if he'd rather not.]
Try different things, then. Video games, singing karaoke, painting... there's a lot of stuff to do around here. It might feel stupid to try some of the things, but at least you'd be trying.