[It's actually quite wholesome, what Eren's saying. Jean can't believe this turn of events, but he prefers it over the awkwardness that things started with.]
I don't see why you couldn't be.
Reiner does need to get out of his mission mindset, but maybe with time he will.
[There's no guarantee to it, but hey, anything was possible.]
One more thing he said was that he wants to see you smile again. And honestly, so do I. A smile suits you better.
I know it's not just something you can do by snapping your fingers, but I hope you will find a reason to smile at some point.
I don’t know that it's possible for me to be something different. I'm trying.
[ He struggled with this in Folkmore too, but he's never really figured out if he's just doomed to be a monster and nothing else.
He's surprised by that last part, not only that Reiner said it but that Jean feels the same. He's been oblivious to it. He knows he's changed, but he doesn't think about this much because he's inside his own head. ]
You would, huh? Do I really not? I guess you're right.
I'm not sure when I really smiled last. Probably more than a year ago. Two years? It's been a long time. I'm not sure I remember how.
I don't always want to argue with you, it just happens.
What's wrong with fighting occasionally? That's what friends do. They fight when they're frustrated. It's not like you'd use 100% of your strength on me.
Maybe you just need to decide that, for a day, you'll just be you. Eren. Nothing else. Not even a titan. Just try and be you and nothing else.
There's nothing wrong with it sometimes. I just don't really want to anymore if we don't have to. I would never use my full strength against you, you're right.
[ This is...mostly true! At least he never plans to here, which is what matters. ]
I guess. I can't separate myself from being a titan, you know. That's who I am too.
But I don't like who I am, so...maybe that's what I'm trying not to be.
[ He almost deletes that but since they're having honesty hour, he hits send before he can change his mind. ]
You're making me look less mature for wanting to occasionally punch you in the face when you're weird.
[Grumpity grump grump.
That confession surprises him though. Not the fact Eren doesn't like himself, somehow Jean had a feeling, but the fact he'd admit it.]
You should try taking acting lessons. That might help you. Both in finding stuff to do and maybe finding a new you.
Though as annoying as you are, I don't mind the Eren Jaeger I know. The Eren I had to share a dorm with for far too long. That guy. Such a pain in the ass.
[ He might be kidding. He might not. Hard to say! ]
Did I? Maybe.
[ Whether he really doesn't remember or this is just patented Eren Jaeger gaslighting is anyone's guess. ]
I don't think acting is what I want to try. I should do something more than just fighting monsters I guess. I've never known what else to do besides fight.
[It's not something he feels like starting an argument over, but he happens to remember that conversation pretty well. Even if he'd rather not.]
Try different things, then. Video games, singing karaoke, painting... there's a lot of stuff to do around here. It might feel stupid to try some of the things, but at least you'd be trying.
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dreamsofwings) wrote2021-07-13 03:17 am
no subject
I don't see why you couldn't be.
Reiner does need to get out of his mission mindset, but maybe with time he will.
[There's no guarantee to it, but hey, anything was possible.]
One more thing he said was that he wants to see you smile again. And honestly, so do I. A smile suits you better.
I know it's not just something you can do by snapping your fingers, but I hope you will find a reason to smile at some point.
no subject
[ He struggled with this in Folkmore too, but he's never really figured out if he's just doomed to be a monster and nothing else.
He's surprised by that last part, not only that Reiner said it but that Jean feels the same. He's been oblivious to it. He knows he's changed, but he doesn't think about this much because he's inside his own head. ]
You would, huh? Do I really not? I guess you're right.
I'm not sure when I really smiled last. Probably more than a year ago. Two years? It's been a long time. I'm not sure I remember how.
Maybe someday.
no subject
And it's not like our world has ever been a reason to smile.
no subject
But I don’t want to fight with you. I've told you that.
There's nothing to smile about at home. There's things here that are good. I don’t know.
I'm not good at being a person. It's been a long time since I was just a person.
no subject
What's wrong with fighting occasionally? That's what friends do. They fight when they're frustrated. It's not like you'd use 100% of your strength on me.
Maybe you just need to decide that, for a day, you'll just be you. Eren. Nothing else. Not even a titan. Just try and be you and nothing else.
no subject
[ This is...mostly true! At least he never plans to here, which is what matters. ]
I guess. I can't separate myself from being a titan, you know. That's who I am too.
But I don't like who I am, so...maybe that's what I'm trying not to be.
[ He almost deletes that but since they're having honesty hour, he hits send before he can change his mind. ]
no subject
[Grumpity grump grump.
That confession surprises him though. Not the fact Eren doesn't like himself, somehow Jean had a feeling, but the fact he'd admit it.]
You should try taking acting lessons. That might help you. Both in finding stuff to do and maybe finding a new you.
Though as annoying as you are, I don't mind the Eren Jaeger I know. The Eren I had to share a dorm with for far too long. That guy. Such a pain in the ass.
Still is. But you're a lot more than that.
no subject
I'm not that Eren anymore.
[ This is nonsense. Another day he'll say "I'm the same as I was since I was born," which is a different brand of nonsense. ]
Acting lessons...
I'd be a shitty actor and you know I would.
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That's not what you said last time. You said you're still who you've always been.
I know, but you could at least give it a try. You might be surprised.
no subject
[ He might be kidding. He might not. Hard to say! ]
Did I? Maybe.
[ Whether he really doesn't remember or this is just patented Eren Jaeger gaslighting is anyone's guess. ]
I don't think acting is what I want to try. I should do something more than just fighting monsters I guess. I've never known what else to do besides fight.
See? I'm not good at being a person.
no subject
[It's not something he feels like starting an argument over, but he happens to remember that conversation pretty well. Even if he'd rather not.]
Try different things, then. Video games, singing karaoke, painting... there's a lot of stuff to do around here. It might feel stupid to try some of the things, but at least you'd be trying.