[ Eren nods. Armin would be okay back home because he has to be, because he's strong. Some people don't think that Armin is strong, but Eren knows better. Physical strength isn't the only kind of strength. It took Eren way too long to realise that. ]
I know he will.
[ Anyway, he knows Armin lives to the end. That isn't the same as being okay, but it's what Eren needs to know. The world he leaves them is a ruined one, but that never mattered as much as the fact that they live at all. Eren's black and white thinking is nearly impossible to overcome. ]
I hope you don't disappear, Captain.
[ He says it quietly, barely audible, almost as if he's afraid to say it. He knows they have no control, but of everyone, Levi is the one who most deserves this world, he thinks. Levi is the one who loses the most. On some level, Eren is sorry for that — for those losses.
Not sorry for the world, for the ending. He wouldn't change his mind. But he doesn't relish any of them suffering.
His words are half selfish, though, like a lot of what he says or thinks. He likes this relationship they have now, not what it was before he fucked it up on purpose, but...family. They're (still) family, and he doesn't want Levi to go too. ]
[ Some people clearly haven't been outsmarted by a nerd they could easily bench press and it shows. ]
[ Levi makes a small noise of agreement, and for a little bit he thinks maybe the conversation is over, and he's not sure what else he can do to offer comfort. Eren's next phrase startles him; it's something he hadn't been particularly worried about at all, even though he is of course aware it could be him being sent back home next time. ]
[ Perhaps it's because he knows he lives. Perhaps it's because others do not. Better him than them. As much as he loves being here, as much as he doesn't want to go, he would gladly give it up to give one of the others a chance at it. ]
[ But that's such a simple way to look at it, isn't it? There's still plenty of people who would be hurt by him disappearing, too, people that he loves, people that he would rather not cause suffering to. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dreamsofwings) wrote2021-07-13 03:17 am
no subject
I know he will.
[ Anyway, he knows Armin lives to the end. That isn't the same as being okay, but it's what Eren needs to know. The world he leaves them is a ruined one, but that never mattered as much as the fact that they live at all. Eren's black and white thinking is nearly impossible to overcome. ]
I hope you don't disappear, Captain.
[ He says it quietly, barely audible, almost as if he's afraid to say it. He knows they have no control, but of everyone, Levi is the one who most deserves this world, he thinks. Levi is the one who loses the most. On some level, Eren is sorry for that — for those losses.
Not sorry for the world, for the ending. He wouldn't change his mind. But he doesn't relish any of them suffering.
His words are half selfish, though, like a lot of what he says or thinks. He likes this relationship they have now, not what it was before he fucked it up on purpose, but...family. They're (still) family, and he doesn't want Levi to go too. ]
no subject
[ Levi makes a small noise of agreement, and for a little bit he thinks maybe the conversation is over, and he's not sure what else he can do to offer comfort. Eren's next phrase startles him; it's something he hadn't been particularly worried about at all, even though he is of course aware it could be him being sent back home next time. ]
[ Perhaps it's because he knows he lives. Perhaps it's because others do not. Better him than them. As much as he loves being here, as much as he doesn't want to go, he would gladly give it up to give one of the others a chance at it. ]
[ But that's such a simple way to look at it, isn't it? There's still plenty of people who would be hurt by him disappearing, too, people that he loves, people that he would rather not cause suffering to. ]
...yeah. Me too.