[ He will be, he wants to say. But he doesn't know that, does he? Even if Armin manages to move on, manages to craft himself a new life... the way he'd almost cried of his anger, of how important Eren and Mikasa were to him still haunts him. Maybe it would all be a performance, or the best possible effort. ]
[ That doesn't mean he would be truly, genuinely happy. ]
[ Levi would know; after all he has lost more people dear to him than he has left. ]
He'll be... okay, back home. [ He feels like he needs to say it, even if it may not be as reassuring as he'd like. It's not a lie, though. He may not ever be entirely happy again, but he will be okay. All of them who survived will. ] But I hope he gets to visit someplace better, too.
[ It's a nice thought, especially when it comes to those that don't have a life to come back to at home. To think that rather than being sent back to die, perhaps they get another chance at another world. As much as Levi would selfishly want to keep them here, with him, he will much rather choose sending them away than condemning them to death again. ]
[ Eren nods. Armin would be okay back home because he has to be, because he's strong. Some people don't think that Armin is strong, but Eren knows better. Physical strength isn't the only kind of strength. It took Eren way too long to realise that. ]
I know he will.
[ Anyway, he knows Armin lives to the end. That isn't the same as being okay, but it's what Eren needs to know. The world he leaves them is a ruined one, but that never mattered as much as the fact that they live at all. Eren's black and white thinking is nearly impossible to overcome. ]
I hope you don't disappear, Captain.
[ He says it quietly, barely audible, almost as if he's afraid to say it. He knows they have no control, but of everyone, Levi is the one who most deserves this world, he thinks. Levi is the one who loses the most. On some level, Eren is sorry for that — for those losses.
Not sorry for the world, for the ending. He wouldn't change his mind. But he doesn't relish any of them suffering.
His words are half selfish, though, like a lot of what he says or thinks. He likes this relationship they have now, not what it was before he fucked it up on purpose, but...family. They're (still) family, and he doesn't want Levi to go too. ]
[ Some people clearly haven't been outsmarted by a nerd they could easily bench press and it shows. ]
[ Levi makes a small noise of agreement, and for a little bit he thinks maybe the conversation is over, and he's not sure what else he can do to offer comfort. Eren's next phrase startles him; it's something he hadn't been particularly worried about at all, even though he is of course aware it could be him being sent back home next time. ]
[ Perhaps it's because he knows he lives. Perhaps it's because others do not. Better him than them. As much as he loves being here, as much as he doesn't want to go, he would gladly give it up to give one of the others a chance at it. ]
[ But that's such a simple way to look at it, isn't it? There's still plenty of people who would be hurt by him disappearing, too, people that he loves, people that he would rather not cause suffering to. ]
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dreamsofwings) wrote2021-07-13 03:17 am
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[ He will be, he wants to say. But he doesn't know that, does he? Even if Armin manages to move on, manages to craft himself a new life... the way he'd almost cried of his anger, of how important Eren and Mikasa were to him still haunts him. Maybe it would all be a performance, or the best possible effort. ]
[ That doesn't mean he would be truly, genuinely happy. ]
[ Levi would know; after all he has lost more people dear to him than he has left. ]
He'll be... okay, back home. [ He feels like he needs to say it, even if it may not be as reassuring as he'd like. It's not a lie, though. He may not ever be entirely happy again, but he will be okay. All of them who survived will. ] But I hope he gets to visit someplace better, too.
[ It's a nice thought, especially when it comes to those that don't have a life to come back to at home. To think that rather than being sent back to die, perhaps they get another chance at another world. As much as Levi would selfishly want to keep them here, with him, he will much rather choose sending them away than condemning them to death again. ]
no subject
I know he will.
[ Anyway, he knows Armin lives to the end. That isn't the same as being okay, but it's what Eren needs to know. The world he leaves them is a ruined one, but that never mattered as much as the fact that they live at all. Eren's black and white thinking is nearly impossible to overcome. ]
I hope you don't disappear, Captain.
[ He says it quietly, barely audible, almost as if he's afraid to say it. He knows they have no control, but of everyone, Levi is the one who most deserves this world, he thinks. Levi is the one who loses the most. On some level, Eren is sorry for that — for those losses.
Not sorry for the world, for the ending. He wouldn't change his mind. But he doesn't relish any of them suffering.
His words are half selfish, though, like a lot of what he says or thinks. He likes this relationship they have now, not what it was before he fucked it up on purpose, but...family. They're (still) family, and he doesn't want Levi to go too. ]
no subject
[ Levi makes a small noise of agreement, and for a little bit he thinks maybe the conversation is over, and he's not sure what else he can do to offer comfort. Eren's next phrase startles him; it's something he hadn't been particularly worried about at all, even though he is of course aware it could be him being sent back home next time. ]
[ Perhaps it's because he knows he lives. Perhaps it's because others do not. Better him than them. As much as he loves being here, as much as he doesn't want to go, he would gladly give it up to give one of the others a chance at it. ]
[ But that's such a simple way to look at it, isn't it? There's still plenty of people who would be hurt by him disappearing, too, people that he loves, people that he would rather not cause suffering to. ]
...yeah. Me too.