Eren walks a knife's edge saying things like that, gaslighting Reiner into second-guessing himself. He's not exactly grounded in reality himself, here, especially after spending too much time in his memories and in other people's thanks to those metal titan things. Reality is difficult, a tenuous thing that twists around him, something he's lost hold of since he kissed Historia's hand years ago. He knows Reiner has troubles with it, pushes that button on purpose because he can, though what he expects to get out of it…
Well, he's not Armin. He can't plan contingencies all that well. He can plan for a future he knows, but not for one he doesn't, and not as well for something immediate. He's too reactive for that. He just has to take the consequences as they come.
He knows, too, what he's doing moving his hand like that, pressing on a vulnerability. That's what it is, what it will always be for either of them even when they're just human (as if they're ever just human). He doesn't really push it, though he could, the threat lingering unspoken because he's Eren and Reiner is right to distrust him.
Strangely, unexpectedly, he didn't kiss Reiner to hurt him. His words, his other bullshit actions, sure. Those are designed to cut. He said he didn't want to fight (a half-truth) and he said he promised to be better (he did, but what that means in a situation like this, even he doesn't know), but that first press of lips on his skin took was too far outside of what he expected. No planning left, only reaction. Only the rain driving him.
Or at least he can blame the rain. What will he do later when he doesn't have that to hold onto? Who and what can he blame then?
Rage and desire are so hard to separate out, especially like this, with someone he understands so well and someone he has hated so much and been so furious at. But he bled that hate out of himself, redirected it at a world that cannot stand against him. He has/will hurt so many people, some of whom he loves enough to ruin everything for them. What's one more?
He's out of his league with this, though, but he can't admit that even to himself.
He knows better than to let an enemy see his weakness, but Reiner has seen so much of him. They lived together when he was younger, after all, when he was weak all the time, before any of them knew he was a titan at all. He was so emotional then, getting in fights with Jean, yelling, crying, flying off the handle at everything. Somewhere inside his repression he is still that boy with all his very human weaknesses, much as he tries to deny them.
Without thinking, his now free other arm finds its way around Reiner's shoulders and there's no way in the world it's not obvious that he likes this, Reiner's hand too tight in his hair and the way Eren's own tense pseudo-resistance causes those teeth to scrape too hard. He's never cared much if he bleeds. He wants to.
Is this a fight or something else he can't name? Hell if he knows.
He crashes their mouths back together. Too much teeth at first, the bone-jarring clash of them. But then there's (slightly) more art to it this time, if whatever this is could be called art. Eren could never deescalate anything he's done, of course, and he doesn't even make an attempt. There's no space left between them and he can taste blood on his tongue when he presses it against Reiner's lips. Everything he does now is a challenge or a demand. It could be something desperate, years of being alone and touch-starved and haunted. Maybe Reiner doesn't deserve to bear the weight of it, Eren taking out his bullshit on him like this. Here they are anyway.
There's a part of Reiner that will always crave approval. A deep-seated, profound part baked into his core, tied to him as tightly as liver and lungs and heart and brain. Tighter, maybe. He can go without his organs, regrow them if they're damaged, replacing parts of his body as easily as he substitutes pieces of his personality. A Warrior one day, a soldier the next, a dutiful son keeping his smile in place while his mother spins lie after lie after lie. But that desire for approval never fades, tied so tightly to his need for love that he sometimes mistakes the two.
Love. Approval. Respect. Affection. All things he has fought to gain. All things that were withheld whenever he fell short: by his mother, who hated her blood in his veins; by his fellow Warrior candidates, who saw him as the weakest of the bunch; by his father, who spit on his existence. He fought tooth and fucking nail to be good enough, strong enough, smart enough, loyal enough. But he can never shake that craving. He can never stop wanting people to care about him.
There's nothing caring in this kiss. Nothing considerate in the way they crash together, Eren's blood bright on Reiner's tongue when he parts his lips, accepting Eren's unspoken challenge without a shred of hesitation. Nothing gentle in the way Reiner clutches Eren against his body, hand still tight in Eren's hair, less an embrace and more a desperate attempt at eliminating all space between them. There's no affection in any of this, a possibility that burned to ash when Reiner healed his broken arm, telltale steam damning him, transforming lunatic ramblings into indisputable fact.
No, there's no affection in this. But Eren is still kissing him. Eren's arm wraps around Reiner's shoulders, his other hand still pressed to Reiner's nape, a threat and a caress all at once. Eren is still here, body pressed tight to Reiner's, all Reiner's years spent searching finally—if momentarily—at an end.
That's enough like approval for Reiner. (He's settled for less.)
It still hurts, though. Still hurts in that nameless way, too many sharp emotions stabbing and searing, twisting his insides into knots. He wants to scream—at Eren, at himself, at this place, at the world. He might do so if his mouth weren't otherwise occupied.
Instead, he drags his tongue over Eren's teeth, trying to taste his own blood, too.
The last thing they need is for both of them to bleed. It's one step closer to a transformation, one step closer to this crowded street turning into another war zone. Another bloodbath. Another list of casualties, bodies and houses and lives crushed beneath two Titans' feet. But Reiner does it anyway.
Because just as there is a part of Reiner that will always crave approval, there's a part of him that will always think he is unworthy. There's a part of him that will always seek punishment.
Is it really any surprise that he tests his luck? Is it any surprise when the hand on Eren's back moves, fingers finding the hem of Eren's t-shirt, seeking to press his palm against bare skin?
He's not playing with fire so much as plunging headfirst into an inferno, arms outspread, screaming at it to do its worst.
Eren thinks, maybe incorrectly, maybe skewed by his years of being wrapped up in too many people's memories, slid out of time and living asynchronous to everyone else even before coming here, that maybe this is better than someone who could never understand. Blood in their mouths and pressed against each other, rain or not, is there anyone alive (or not) that could possibly understand? He's been alone for so long, alone in his anger, alone in his head, alone in the knowledge of the end of the world, the knowledge that there is literally no length he would not go to, no depth he would not sink to, to save the people he thinks of as family.
Sure, he told Floch. Floch, committing atrocities with a cult branded with Eren's name. Floch, obsessed with the idea of the Eldian Empire, something Eren doesn't give a shit about and never has. Floch, who is maybe a worse person even than Eren himself, who needs Eren to be Paradis's devil, a figurehead that will spark unrest for years after his death. Eren doesn't know that Floch's fanaticism will make him a martyr to a cause he could not care less about. Floch never understood that this wasn't for an empire, for power. It was for them, Armin and Mikasa and the others, so that they would live, so that they would have freedom that Eren could never find.
And he told Historia, out of necessity, so she couldn't be used like a tool any more than she already was. The worst girl in the world, keeping her silence even though she might not agree with what he was doing. Could she really understand?
Other reasons aside, who could understand how he destroyed himself and whatever shaky morals he might have ever had better than Reiner? That's not a good reason to keep going with this. It's not a good reason to let his desperation drive him. They're way past good reasoning, though.
They don't have to talk about the horrible future that Reiner knows nothing about yet, the past actions that Eren will hold against Reiner until they are both dead (or longer), the blood they have spilled and will spill in between. In some ways, this is the most honest thing either of them can do, isn't it?
Reiner's hand on his skin there under his shirt is hot like a brand. People are probably staring, making some kind of remark at the two of them that they're beyond hearing. Is the blood in his mouth his or Reiner's? He's not sure. He's tasted so much blood in his life. Blood always just tastes like blood. He doesn't get off on the taste of it exactly, but the knowledge of danger pushes something in him. He reacts too easy, like he does to most things, pulse too fast, body too demanding.
Embarrassing, really. They're in the fucking street, after all.
He pulls his face back for a moment, blood and water trickling off his bottom lip, a wisp of steam lingering there as whatever damage there was heals itself. He could stop it from healing if he wants, or he could just…instigate more damage.
Reiner's hand is still in his hair. Moving Reiner is like moving a solid brick house; he's never going to be able to do it if the blond won't go with him. But that's not the case, right? That's not the case this time, Attack Titan against Armored, immovable objects colliding. So glances off to the side for a moment, long enough that if they were fighting he would be opening himself up too much, until he sees a break in the buildings, a dim alleyway not far away.
And he pulls. It doesn't matter if his hair gets tangled, if something snags, if his shirt gets torn or whatever else. It doesn't matter if some rando makes a snide remark. It's something closer to privacy. He's not ready to give up on touch, on connection, sensation seeking, whatever this really is. It's only a few meters' worth of interruption.
The last thing that Reiner wants is for Eren to pull away.
Maybe it would be smarter in the end. Maybe it would be for the best. Maybe it would allow Reiner to crawl away from this with what remains of his sanity still somewhat intact: his priorities clear, his purpose sealed by a tap between his shoulder blades, Bertolt's voice promising, "Leave it to me." Maybe he would remember that no matter what Eren was to him before, Eren is now no more than an objective to secure, a sacrifice to be made. Maybe he would stop craving lost affection, stop caring about the so-called Suicidal Bastard.
But when Eren starts to pull away, what swells within Reiner isn't relief: it's something edging close to panic. He knows he's testing his luck, but still, he wants to protest. Wait, he wants to say. Wait, as if he would know what to say next. Wait. Just wait.
His voice catches, though, his attention snagged by the wisp of steam that rises from Eren's mouth. Reiner shivers, slight but perceptible, finding himself fixated by it. There's something so revealing about that steam, honest in a way that makes his head spin. How many times did Reiner have to suppress his own healing, allowing his body to remain injured to maintain his cover? How often has he sighed in relief since he stopped having to lie, allowing that telltale steam to rise like a banner? And here Eren is, letting it appear between their lips, showing exactly what he is.
Eren's gaze flicks toward an alley, then he pulls. And fuck him, but Reiner follows. He follows, letting Eren direct them, determining their path, doing no more than snarling a "shut your mouth" at some asshole who jeers too loudly. And for a split second, Reiner is back in a torchlit courtyard looking up at Erwin Smith, fist over his heart as he follows Eren into the Survey Corps. For a split second, they're comrades again.
Then they reach the shelter of the dim alleyway, boxes and crates piled along one wall. Reiner waits until they're just past the refuse, then he stops allowing himself to be pulled. He pushes instead, seeking to drive Eren up against the alley wall—an impact that may hurt, cushioned only by Reiner's hand on the back of Eren's head.
"Eren," he whispers, the name a prayer and a curse all at once; a reminder of who he is, of what he is, of what he wants. Then he seeks to seal their lips together again, his knee shoving between Eren's thighs, wordless and demanding.
Action is easier than talking. Words never really work between them anymore, anyway.
Eren has seen Kyle's warnings several times about this lightning. He has never once believed them, since he's been here through several storms and it's been fine. Well, now he'll be a believer, won't he?
By the time he finds Zechs, he's only been hit once, but Zechs might not be so lucky. He recognises the other man, of course, from when they met in the desert. Is this better? It feels better, at least. Eren is still only wearing what he had from Euphoria, something he certainly didn't pick but got stuck in himself, tight black pants and a cropped shirt. It's hardly his usual fare. At least whatever was going on in there has worn off, but that still leaves…the lightning.
"Zechs," he says, drawing closer, trying to resist the urge to just reach out and touch, hands balled into fists at his sides. This is a losing game. "It's not safe out here. This lightning is…messed up."
Zechs had only skimmed over the warning once, and dismissed it. Whether or not the report of the phenomenon was accurate, lightning should be simple enough to avoid, so long they weren't foolish enough to be caught in an open field during a storm. He didn't count on the fact that this place decided to whisk them off at a moment's notice to random locations. Or, that the lightning didn't choose to behave like ordinary lightning should, defying the laws of physics.
No matter that there were taller objects around him - he had been struck not once, but twice. By the time Eren found him, his hands were balled into fists, teeth grit tightly. Like some animal, his first urge was to take a hold of the other soldier to press their bodies together - find relief in simple human contact.
Stubbornly - the same iron will that had him wresting control over Tallgeese even as it tried to kill him, and the ZERO system as it tried to drive him completely mad - Zechs refused that urge.
"To say the least," Zechs said tightly. He hoped Eren had been spared the lightning so far. "We need to get you to shelter."
Eren notices the tension, this close; how could he not? He feels it himself, after all, and unlike Zechs, Eren doesn't have all that much self-control. Maybe in certain situations, but something like this? He can't hope to fight it, and having some idea that Zechs is likewise affected…should he fight it? Maybe it's not worth it.
"I'm fine," he says, which is pretty much always a lie anyway, and definitely a lie right now.
"I just need…"
He's not even sure where to start with that one. But okay, Zechs isn't wrong about the shelter thing. They both need to not be out here, desperate and soaking wet and in danger of being hit by more of this stupid ass lightning.
He holds out a hand, trying not to shake with the way he resists just demanding the contact he wants. He wants so much more than this, after all, but he's trying not to be a creep.
"You're right that we need to get inside though."
Maybe Folkmore's magic will work with them and get them back to Eren's house or at least somewhere reasonably private. And indoors.
"You've been struck," Zechs called out his lie bluntly, seeing the tension mirrored in Eren. He had to do something to help him - protect him, shelter him. Take his body in hand, claim his mouth, find what he needed - Zechs pushed his baser natures away with a click of his jaw.
And then Eren held out his hand.
Zechs debated for a longer than needed moment, before taking it - his grip calloused, firm, drawing them close together. Just so he could follow him, surely. But even this faintest of contact just was a match close to gasoline, needing only fumes to spark.
"Inside," Zechs agreed, but his voice was nearly a growl. "Now."
[ How Eren ends up in the portal is anyone's guess, but this kind of thing is just…happening all over the place, huh? He's immediately on edge, since the last one of these he fell into was literally a war zone. But this one…doesn't look so bad, actually. Sure, Eren has complicated feelings about oceans and all of that, but it's still nice here.
Until! There sure are bombs going off! This is already a memory, which mercifully prevents Eren from spiralling out into his own memories, at least more than he already does just generally. He doesn't get lost in a flashback, but he's still really on edge.
He remembers Diluc from fire training, but the little girl isn't familiar. She's the one thrown bombs, and Diluc doesn't seem at all rattled by it. Eren tries to follow out, but he's not good at that with all that dangerous sound happening.
They're standing in the water, Klee joyfully bouncing along. ]
[At first Diluc jolts, as if in shock at hearing an unfamiliar voice, but as he turns around to look at Eren it's as if everything comes together all at once. Probably luckily, because Klee would have been frightened if they started fighting all of a sudden.
Speaking of Klee... she doesn't appear to have taken Diluc's advice to heart and is preparing another small bomb to toss out into the water.]
... It's better not to question it too much. [He smiles a little as Klee lets out a cheer.]
[ Eren doesn't apologise for the startle, but it's not as if he asked to be here either. It just…ended up this way. Does Diluc know what this is, this spell or whatever? A memory, Eren thinks, based on his other experiences with these portals. ]
…All right.
[ But who gives a little kid bombs? Is that safe? Maybe he shouldn't care about it, all things considered, but he wonders. ]
Diluc has never been asked that question before and he needs a moment to process it through his mind. Does he look old enough to have a daughter the age that Klee is? Maybe he needs to get more sleep.]
No, she's... the daughter of a family friend.
[He rubs the side of his thumb against his temple.]
I keep an eye on her now and then, but she's more fond of my adoptive brother.
Eren hasn't spent a lot of time on boats, really, so he might not be prepared for this one, the way the boat rocks and all. Don't worry, no seasickness here, just an adjustment period on sea legs!
He almost didn't wear the provided pirate clothes because he has no idea what pirates even are or what the clothes are for. But ugh, fine, costume it is. (He ditches the eyepatch right away, because he's pretty sure that it would not be appreciated by the two people he knows who can't magically regrow eyes, and anyway he might freak himself out wearing it and no one needs that just pretend it's gone in all these cool pirate icons.)
Ultimately he's also not sure why he can't just punch holes in these ships as a titan (maybe the water is too deep for that?) but again, he goes along with it. The pay will be fine if they sink more than one. Anyway, his inherent desire to win is still there somewhere. Beating these ships is doing that, isn't it? Destroy enemies? He can do that all day.
There's not really a ship captain on this quest. It's a work together type thing. But Eren more easily defaults to not issuing orders. What does he know about ships? At least cannons are familiar.
At one point, he might say, "What's even on that ship? It looks empty but it's still moving." (He missed the ghost ship memo, possibly.)
At another, he might say, "What the hell are those things?" in regards to octopus pirates. He sort of knows what an octopus is, but this is weird. Maybe as weird as Folkmore was. Or just…differently weird? He's staring instead of shooting the cannon, whoops. Or he is firing cannons! Whatever.
Or if you're feeling spicy, maybe one of the crews boards their ship and there's a sword fight. Eren knows how to fight with a sword but also, fuck that, guns exist. He has a regular modern style handgun that now fires magic bullets (or regular ones if he runs out of those). In a scrape, he might choose that instead of a sword. But if the ghosts board the ship…what now?
Levi doesn't deign to dress up for the mission. In fact, he chooses to wear casual clothes rather than his nice uniform (though honestly, some of his ideas of casual clothes isn't too far off from pirate aesthetic), though he does have his gear on, and he is, in fact, sporting an eyepatch.
Not one from the research center, though. It seems to be a spare one of Hange's (of course thoroughly disinfected), or at least it looks the same. Levi isn't too happy about it, but after accidentally poking himself in the eye with a teaspoon once or twice thanks to his new blind spot, he figured it's probably best to cover it when there's a chance he'll have to do battle.
For now, he's taken over steering, as it seems Eren prefers working the cannons (it may or may not be a bad decision, considering Eren is the only one who has a license for piloting any kind of ship), but so far they were sailing into the lake without much issue.
Until, that is, an empty-looking ship starts heading toward them, perhaps intending to board or simply ram their smaller boat. There may be some locals sailing with them, in which case they probably urgently unroll more sail for speed, while Levi struggles turning the giant unwieldy wheel so the damned ghosts can eat some lead.
That's right, he can bloody see them. It doesn't matter until they have to actually fight them, though; as long as they can destroy the ship, that should be unnecessary.
"Aim for the sail pole," he instructs Eren, shattering any illusion that they actually know shit about ships, as the boat finally turns the way he wants it to, broadside cannons facing the approaching ghost ship.
Eren does know how to pilot an airship, but this seems pretty different from that. Besides, then he'd feel like the captain and he'd rather leave that up to…the captain, obviously.
So far it's not going poorly, and it's not like this ocean-lake is really all that choppy. There's no storm on the horizon. They're fine. Shooting things is possibly fun, or as close to it as Eren really acknowledges these days. Skewed? Sure, but as always: it's not genocide.
Levi doesn't answer his question. He is aware Levi can see ghosts, but he sort of forgets they're a thing here most of the time. He doesn't believe in ghosts, or didn't until now, so they're not often on his mind anyway. Well, even if the ship is driven by magic, they can still take it out.
"Sail pole, got it," he says. He doesn't know much more about ships that go in the water and not in the air, alas. But regardless of the lingo, he understands what it means. He rotates the cannon, a slower process than he'd like, and takes aim.
It's hard to correct for the motion of the waves, though, especially as the ships turns. So when he fires, it misses. Not by much, but it's still a miss. The cannonball blasts a hole through the sale and only grazes the wood of the mast ship pole. Still, it causes the other ship to falter and to slow. Without a functional sail, it's better than completely missing.
He turns to pick up another cannonball from the pile of them. He's strong, but it's not the fastest reload in the world.
Thanks to some combination of Ozymandias talking him into it, boredom, and remembering conversations with Yuri, Eren does in fact sign up to work on the airship. He's vaguely aware that sexy clothes are involved here, and entirely aware that he's not at all customer service material, but whatever.
He's not entirely expecting full on lingerie (this picture is nsfw! but for what he's wearing imagine booty shorts to go over that lace) and almost backs out. But it's like any challenge, right? Imagine just backing down because of clothing. It's not as if he's modest to begin with. He spent weeks running around without a shirt or whatever, after all. This feels…more personal.
People look at him, because that's what this is about. He brings drinks, though he's not very good at the entertainment part, but he can bring drinks or food or sit and have a conversation if that's your thing. Feel free to tease him or be suggestive. He's not unreceptive to the idea of where this could lead, but since he's working or whatever, he won't propose it himself.
OR if you're also working, find him taking a break in some employee lounge somewhere, obviously still dressed in lingerie, but away from prying eyes. Wanna blow off some steam? Here's a chance to do that!
Eiden had spent some time working on this airship. He had a lot of fun of his own in those first few days. He liked dressing up, and he enjoyed engaging and entertaining other people. He's done it before, and he's helped others find their footing in doing the same. And while doing that was fun, he decided to take a few days to himself from that part and just relax and enjoy his time on the ship. This was the perfect place to simply relax, go with the flow, and take his mind off of any business that he had going on.
Even though he's not hosting, he still dresses in a way that he finds appropriate for this ship. He's wearing (picture nsfw-ish) an open shirt with a collar and straps across his chest, as well as a pair of black slacks. Around his neck hangs the Neon Gemstone that he wears at all times. He's relaxing into one of the more comfortable pieces of seating, thinking about just having a few drinks and watching the show when a familiar face makes his an appearance, bringing a drink for him.
He scoots over in his seat, there's plenty of room. He's certainly not going to make the other join him, but the invitation is there.
"You look amazing. It'd be a shame to take my eyes off of you." Shamelessly opening with a flirt, as always. It's simply how Eiden is. "If you want, you can sit with me. Or on me." He speaks shamelessly. "I can get you a drink if you want one, too."
Eren's glad to see a familiar face, even if he still feels a little out of place dressed like this. It took him a while to get used to the feeling of lace at all. Does he like it? He hasn't decided. Other people seem to, which is…a realisation he's still slowly absorbing.
Eiden is always quick with a smile and a flirtatious comment, which is easier to follow along with. Eren's not very good at being flirtatious. He doesn't smile, for one. He's a little bit freer than he was when he and Eiden first met, more of his emotions accessible whether he wants them to be or not.
He lets his eyes slide over Eiden's form, shamelessly. It's a good look for him, the open shirt, those leather straps.
"I think I'm the one supposed to get the drinks," Eren answers. He wishes he was bold enough to literally sit on Eiden's lap, but he's not there yet. He has to warm up to it.
In the meantime, he does accept the offer to sit there next to Eiden. He crosses one leg over the other the way he's seen Yuri do (he's not as graceful at this, but he's not at all clumsy) and sets his arm along the backrest behind Eiden.
"You have anything specific you want?" He could be talking about drinks or whatever, but they're both aware of the kind of ship this is. Eren gets a lot of attention because of how he looks, but his ability to interact with people could use work.
Edmond would have never come up here on his own, but he was persuaded by a certain someone (Eiden) who had told him it would be a good time and then gone swanning off to enjoy himself. It's not deliberate, he's sure... Eiden just likes to indulge his many vices and they would probably have words about this once they were both back home...
For now, Edmond accepts the fact that he can't leave just yet. He's wearing a fairly elaborate outfit as he sits and occupies his time and when someone comes close to him he looks up with a faint start and turns slightly pink.
Gods-- there really is no shame here, is there?
"Did you put that on willingly?"
Look he... doesn't really mean to be rude, and the question is a genuine one, but Edmond has a way of being very blunt and especially when he's flustered, and the words just come out of him before he can stop them.
Eren can feel his face warm a little at the question. He's always blushed too easily, which makes this job kind of a pain for him. He can handle compliments sometimes, even if he's not good at the whole customer service thing. Hard to be good at it when your expression barely changes, but whatever, he's still getting paid to be here and people still like looking at him. Apparently.
"Did you put that on willingly?" he asks in return before he can think better of it.
Shit. He hears what he said too late to do anything about it. Looks like they have that kind of thing in common.
"…They're paying me, so."
It's not a direct answer, but it's good enough. He put this on more or less willingly, though Ozymandias talked him into it. He hadn't just done it. It probably sounds worse the way he says it, since it kind of sounds like selling himself for money, even more than it actually is.
This…isn't exactly a quest so much as it is curiosity. Whichever one of them actually picked this isn't relevant; they both decided they'd try the rope thing after seeing it pop up in the Underground Mall. Maybe it was a dare. Maybe it was just maybe.
Either way, they're here now, the bedroom lit this time. Eren stands in front of Reiner looking down at the rope between them.
"You sure?" he asks, as if he's not the one about to let himself get tied up by someone who literally wanted to capture him only months ago. For Eren it was years, but not for Reiner. Eren is dimly aware of how stupid and reckless this is. He could be completely at Reiner's mercy doing something like this, depending on how it goes. He saw some of the demonstrations, the way people's arms and legs were drawn up.
Well, he could always bite his tongue or something if it came to it. But he doesn't think anything bad will happen, simply because neither of them want that. They're doing this to see if it's as sexy as it looks or something. Eren doesn't really think much of the spell aspect. He knows magic is real and spells work, but something about unburdening? Yeah right. There's too much inside him to possibly let any of it go, rope or no rope.
He runs the rope through his hands a little. It's not like rope he's felt before; this is silky, soft to the touch, not stiff or scratchy. He's been tied up and chained up plenty of times, but this? Definitely not.
He holds it back out to Reiner. At least one of them is sure.
A not-significant part of Reiner wants to do this somewhere else. He wants to do this in his bedroom, not in the neutral ground of a hotel. He wants to lay Eren down on his bed, tie Eren up on his sheets, press his nose to Eren's hair and feel his mind fully relax, soothed by the knowledge that he's successfully "captured" his target. However, Reiner isn't a fool. Doing this in his bedroom would just be begging for something to go horribly wrong, setting off a disastrous chain reaction. And besides, Reiner is pretty sure that tying Eren up, period, will soothe whatever part of his brain hungers for victory.
Anyway, this isn't about Reiner finding peace of mind. It's about Eren. It's about erasing whatever haunts Eren's dreams—even if only briefly. That's what the spell is supposed to do, right? Reiner isn't sure if it will work, still having a mental block about certain aspects of magic. But for Eren's sake, he hopes it will.
And if it doesn't? Well, hopefully Eren will still enjoy it. Reiner is damn sure that he'll enjoy the sight alone, all those intricate knots crisscrossing Eren's skin.
While Eren inspects the rope, Reiner glances over a pamphlet detailing various knots one last time, ensuring he has the steps correctly memorized. He practiced these knots in the Underground Mall (albeit on a dummy, not a person); there, the instructor's only advice was that Reiner leave a little more slack in the rope. ("You're not tying up a prisoner," they'd said; Reiner only smiled weakly.) He's confident that he can do this properly.
"I'm sure," Reiner says, accepting the rope, his fingers deliberately brushing Eren's. He lets a smile tease the corners of his lips, leaning forward slightly as he adds, "You're going to look amazing."
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dreamsofwings) wrote2020-11-19 01:04 pm
from seasons TDM with Reiner
Eren walks a knife's edge saying things like that, gaslighting Reiner into second-guessing himself. He's not exactly grounded in reality himself, here, especially after spending too much time in his memories and in other people's thanks to those metal titan things. Reality is difficult, a tenuous thing that twists around him, something he's lost hold of since he kissed Historia's hand years ago. He knows Reiner has troubles with it, pushes that button on purpose because he can, though what he expects to get out of it…
Well, he's not Armin. He can't plan contingencies all that well. He can plan for a future he knows, but not for one he doesn't, and not as well for something immediate. He's too reactive for that. He just has to take the consequences as they come.
He knows, too, what he's doing moving his hand like that, pressing on a vulnerability. That's what it is, what it will always be for either of them even when they're just human (as if they're ever just human). He doesn't really push it, though he could, the threat lingering unspoken because he's Eren and Reiner is right to distrust him.
Strangely, unexpectedly, he didn't kiss Reiner to hurt him. His words, his other bullshit actions, sure. Those are designed to cut. He said he didn't want to fight (a half-truth) and he said he promised to be better (he did, but what that means in a situation like this, even he doesn't know), but that first press of lips on his skin took was too far outside of what he expected. No planning left, only reaction. Only the rain driving him.
Or at least he can blame the rain. What will he do later when he doesn't have that to hold onto? Who and what can he blame then?
Rage and desire are so hard to separate out, especially like this, with someone he understands so well and someone he has hated so much and been so furious at. But he bled that hate out of himself, redirected it at a world that cannot stand against him. He has/will hurt so many people, some of whom he loves enough to ruin everything for them. What's one more?
He's out of his league with this, though, but he can't admit that even to himself.
He knows better than to let an enemy see his weakness, but Reiner has seen so much of him. They lived together when he was younger, after all, when he was weak all the time, before any of them knew he was a titan at all. He was so emotional then, getting in fights with Jean, yelling, crying, flying off the handle at everything. Somewhere inside his repression he is still that boy with all his very human weaknesses, much as he tries to deny them.
Without thinking, his now free other arm finds its way around Reiner's shoulders and there's no way in the world it's not obvious that he likes this, Reiner's hand too tight in his hair and the way Eren's own tense pseudo-resistance causes those teeth to scrape too hard. He's never cared much if he bleeds. He wants to.
Is this a fight or something else he can't name? Hell if he knows.
He crashes their mouths back together. Too much teeth at first, the bone-jarring clash of them. But then there's (slightly) more art to it this time, if whatever this is could be called art. Eren could never deescalate anything he's done, of course, and he doesn't even make an attempt. There's no space left between them and he can taste blood on his tongue when he presses it against Reiner's lips. Everything he does now is a challenge or a demand. It could be something desperate, years of being alone and touch-starved and haunted. Maybe Reiner doesn't deserve to bear the weight of it, Eren taking out his bullshit on him like this. Here they are anyway.
in which the disaster continues
Love. Approval. Respect. Affection. All things he has fought to gain. All things that were withheld whenever he fell short: by his mother, who hated her blood in his veins; by his fellow Warrior candidates, who saw him as the weakest of the bunch; by his father, who spit on his existence. He fought tooth and fucking nail to be good enough, strong enough, smart enough, loyal enough. But he can never shake that craving. He can never stop wanting people to care about him.
There's nothing caring in this kiss. Nothing considerate in the way they crash together, Eren's blood bright on Reiner's tongue when he parts his lips, accepting Eren's unspoken challenge without a shred of hesitation. Nothing gentle in the way Reiner clutches Eren against his body, hand still tight in Eren's hair, less an embrace and more a desperate attempt at eliminating all space between them. There's no affection in any of this, a possibility that burned to ash when Reiner healed his broken arm, telltale steam damning him, transforming lunatic ramblings into indisputable fact.
No, there's no affection in this. But Eren is still kissing him. Eren's arm wraps around Reiner's shoulders, his other hand still pressed to Reiner's nape, a threat and a caress all at once. Eren is still here, body pressed tight to Reiner's, all Reiner's years spent searching finally—if momentarily—at an end.
That's enough like approval for Reiner. (He's settled for less.)
It still hurts, though. Still hurts in that nameless way, too many sharp emotions stabbing and searing, twisting his insides into knots. He wants to scream—at Eren, at himself, at this place, at the world. He might do so if his mouth weren't otherwise occupied.
Instead, he drags his tongue over Eren's teeth, trying to taste his own blood, too.
The last thing they need is for both of them to bleed. It's one step closer to a transformation, one step closer to this crowded street turning into another war zone. Another bloodbath. Another list of casualties, bodies and houses and lives crushed beneath two Titans' feet. But Reiner does it anyway.
Because just as there is a part of Reiner that will always crave approval, there's a part of him that will always think he is unworthy. There's a part of him that will always seek punishment.
Is it really any surprise that he tests his luck? Is it any surprise when the hand on Eren's back moves, fingers finding the hem of Eren's t-shirt, seeking to press his palm against bare skin?
He's not playing with fire so much as plunging headfirst into an inferno, arms outspread, screaming at it to do its worst.
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Sure, he told Floch. Floch, committing atrocities with a cult branded with Eren's name. Floch, obsessed with the idea of the Eldian Empire, something Eren doesn't give a shit about and never has. Floch, who is maybe a worse person even than Eren himself, who needs Eren to be Paradis's devil, a figurehead that will spark unrest for years after his death. Eren doesn't know that Floch's fanaticism will make him a martyr to a cause he could not care less about. Floch never understood that this wasn't for an empire, for power. It was for them, Armin and Mikasa and the others, so that they would live, so that they would have freedom that Eren could never find.
And he told Historia, out of necessity, so she couldn't be used like a tool any more than she already was. The worst girl in the world, keeping her silence even though she might not agree with what he was doing. Could she really understand?
Other reasons aside, who could understand how he destroyed himself and whatever shaky morals he might have ever had better than Reiner? That's not a good reason to keep going with this. It's not a good reason to let his desperation drive him. They're way past good reasoning, though.
They don't have to talk about the horrible future that Reiner knows nothing about yet, the past actions that Eren will hold against Reiner until they are both dead (or longer), the blood they have spilled and will spill in between. In some ways, this is the most honest thing either of them can do, isn't it?
Reiner's hand on his skin there under his shirt is hot like a brand. People are probably staring, making some kind of remark at the two of them that they're beyond hearing. Is the blood in his mouth his or Reiner's? He's not sure. He's tasted so much blood in his life. Blood always just tastes like blood. He doesn't get off on the taste of it exactly, but the knowledge of danger pushes something in him. He reacts too easy, like he does to most things, pulse too fast, body too demanding.
Embarrassing, really. They're in the fucking street, after all.
He pulls his face back for a moment, blood and water trickling off his bottom lip, a wisp of steam lingering there as whatever damage there was heals itself. He could stop it from healing if he wants, or he could just…instigate more damage.
Reiner's hand is still in his hair. Moving Reiner is like moving a solid brick house; he's never going to be able to do it if the blond won't go with him. But that's not the case, right? That's not the case this time, Attack Titan against Armored, immovable objects colliding. So glances off to the side for a moment, long enough that if they were fighting he would be opening himself up too much, until he sees a break in the buildings, a dim alleyway not far away.
And he pulls. It doesn't matter if his hair gets tangled, if something snags, if his shirt gets torn or whatever else. It doesn't matter if some rando makes a snide remark. It's something closer to privacy. He's not ready to give up on touch, on connection, sensation seeking, whatever this really is. It's only a few meters' worth of interruption.
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Maybe it would be smarter in the end. Maybe it would be for the best. Maybe it would allow Reiner to crawl away from this with what remains of his sanity still somewhat intact: his priorities clear, his purpose sealed by a tap between his shoulder blades, Bertolt's voice promising, "Leave it to me." Maybe he would remember that no matter what Eren was to him before, Eren is now no more than an objective to secure, a sacrifice to be made. Maybe he would stop craving lost affection, stop caring about the so-called Suicidal Bastard.
But when Eren starts to pull away, what swells within Reiner isn't relief: it's something edging close to panic. He knows he's testing his luck, but still, he wants to protest. Wait, he wants to say. Wait, as if he would know what to say next. Wait. Just wait.
His voice catches, though, his attention snagged by the wisp of steam that rises from Eren's mouth. Reiner shivers, slight but perceptible, finding himself fixated by it. There's something so revealing about that steam, honest in a way that makes his head spin. How many times did Reiner have to suppress his own healing, allowing his body to remain injured to maintain his cover? How often has he sighed in relief since he stopped having to lie, allowing that telltale steam to rise like a banner? And here Eren is, letting it appear between their lips, showing exactly what he is.
Eren's gaze flicks toward an alley, then he pulls. And fuck him, but Reiner follows. He follows, letting Eren direct them, determining their path, doing no more than snarling a "shut your mouth" at some asshole who jeers too loudly. And for a split second, Reiner is back in a torchlit courtyard looking up at Erwin Smith, fist over his heart as he follows Eren into the Survey Corps. For a split second, they're comrades again.
Then they reach the shelter of the dim alleyway, boxes and crates piled along one wall. Reiner waits until they're just past the refuse, then he stops allowing himself to be pulled. He pushes instead, seeking to drive Eren up against the alley wall—an impact that may hurt, cushioned only by Reiner's hand on the back of Eren's head.
"Eren," he whispers, the name a prayer and a curse all at once; a reminder of who he is, of what he is, of what he wants. Then he seeks to seal their lips together again, his knee shoving between Eren's thighs, wordless and demanding.
Action is easier than talking. Words never really work between them anymore, anyway.
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cries about this
cries with 😭
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folkmore - zechs, jun 2023 event, nsfw
Eren has seen Kyle's warnings several times about this lightning. He has never once believed them, since he's been here through several storms and it's been fine. Well, now he'll be a believer, won't he?
By the time he finds Zechs, he's only been hit once, but Zechs might not be so lucky. He recognises the other man, of course, from when they met in the desert. Is this better? It feels better, at least. Eren is still only wearing what he had from Euphoria, something he certainly didn't pick but got stuck in himself, tight black pants and a cropped shirt. It's hardly his usual fare. At least whatever was going on in there has worn off, but that still leaves…the lightning.
"Zechs," he says, drawing closer, trying to resist the urge to just reach out and touch, hands balled into fists at his sides. This is a losing game. "It's not safe out here. This lightning is…messed up."
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No matter that there were taller objects around him - he had been struck not once, but twice. By the time Eren found him, his hands were balled into fists, teeth grit tightly. Like some animal, his first urge was to take a hold of the other soldier to press their bodies together - find relief in simple human contact.
Stubbornly - the same iron will that had him wresting control over Tallgeese even as it tried to kill him, and the ZERO system as it tried to drive him completely mad - Zechs refused that urge.
"To say the least," Zechs said tightly. He hoped Eren had been spared the lightning so far. "We need to get you to shelter."
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"I'm fine," he says, which is pretty much always a lie anyway, and definitely a lie right now.
"I just need…"
He's not even sure where to start with that one. But okay, Zechs isn't wrong about the shelter thing. They both need to not be out here, desperate and soaking wet and in danger of being hit by more of this stupid ass lightning.
He holds out a hand, trying not to shake with the way he resists just demanding the contact he wants. He wants so much more than this, after all, but he's trying not to be a creep.
"You're right that we need to get inside though."
Maybe Folkmore's magic will work with them and get them back to Eren's house or at least somewhere reasonably private. And indoors.
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And then Eren held out his hand.
Zechs debated for a longer than needed moment, before taking it - his grip calloused, firm, drawing them close together. Just so he could follow him, surely. But even this faintest of contact just was a match close to gasoline, needing only fumes to spark.
"Inside," Zechs agreed, but his voice was nearly a growl. "Now."
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diluc; seasons memory overflow
[ How Eren ends up in the portal is anyone's guess, but this kind of thing is just…happening all over the place, huh? He's immediately on edge, since the last one of these he fell into was literally a war zone. But this one…doesn't look so bad, actually. Sure, Eren has complicated feelings about oceans and all of that, but it's still nice here.
Until! There sure are bombs going off! This is already a memory, which mercifully prevents Eren from spiralling out into his own memories, at least more than he already does just generally. He doesn't get lost in a flashback, but he's still really on edge.
He remembers Diluc from fire training, but the little girl isn't familiar. She's the one thrown bombs, and Diluc doesn't seem at all rattled by it. Eren tries to follow out, but he's not good at that with all that dangerous sound happening.
They're standing in the water, Klee joyfully bouncing along. ]
Wait, we're bombing fish?
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Speaking of Klee... she doesn't appear to have taken Diluc's advice to heart and is preparing another small bomb to toss out into the water.]
... It's better not to question it too much. [He smiles a little as Klee lets out a cheer.]
Just let her have fun.
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…All right.
[ But who gives a little kid bombs? Is that safe? Maybe he shouldn't care about it, all things considered, but he wonders. ]
Is she your daughter?
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[Excuse him a moment.
Diluc has never been asked that question before and he needs a moment to process it through his mind. Does he look old enough to have a daughter the age that Klee is? Maybe he needs to get more sleep.]
No, she's... the daughter of a family friend.
[He rubs the side of his thumb against his temple.]
I keep an eye on her now and then, but she's more fond of my adoptive brother.
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seasons - august and september quests
pirates of the great lake - CLOSED
He almost didn't wear the provided pirate clothes because he has no idea what pirates even are or what the clothes are for. But ugh, fine, costume it is. (He ditches the eyepatch right away, because he's pretty sure that it would not be appreciated by the two people he knows who can't magically regrow eyes, and anyway he might freak himself out wearing it and no one needs that
just pretend it's gone in all these cool pirate icons.)Ultimately he's also not sure why he can't just punch holes in these ships as a titan (maybe the water is too deep for that?) but again, he goes along with it. The pay will be fine if they sink more than one. Anyway, his inherent desire to win is still there somewhere. Beating these ships is doing that, isn't it? Destroy enemies? He can do that all day.
There's not really a ship captain on this quest. It's a work together type thing. But Eren more easily defaults to not issuing orders. What does he know about ships? At least cannons are familiar.
At one point, he might say, "What's even on that ship? It looks empty but it's still moving." (He missed the ghost ship memo, possibly.)
At another, he might say, "What the hell are those things?" in regards to octopus pirates. He sort of knows what an octopus is, but this is weird. Maybe as weird as Folkmore was. Or just…differently weird? He's staring instead of shooting the cannon, whoops. Or he is firing cannons! Whatever.
Or if you're feeling spicy, maybe one of the crews boards their ship and there's a sword fight. Eren knows how to fight with a sword but also, fuck that, guns exist. He has a regular modern style handgun that now fires magic bullets (or regular ones if he runs out of those). In a scrape, he might choose that instead of a sword. But if the ghosts board the ship…what now?
well then,
(though honestly, some of his ideas of casual clothes isn't too far off from pirate aesthetic), though he does have his gear on, and he is, in fact, sporting an eyepatch.Not one from the research center, though. It seems to be a spare one of Hange's (of course thoroughly disinfected), or at least it looks the same. Levi isn't too happy about it, but after accidentally poking himself in the eye with a teaspoon once or twice thanks to his new blind spot, he figured it's probably best to cover it when there's a chance he'll have to do battle.
For now, he's taken over steering, as it seems Eren prefers working the cannons (it may or may not be a bad decision, considering Eren is the only one who has a license for piloting any kind of ship), but so far they were sailing into the lake without much issue.
Until, that is, an empty-looking ship starts heading toward them, perhaps intending to board or simply ram their smaller boat. There may be some locals sailing with them, in which case they probably urgently unroll more sail for speed, while Levi struggles turning the giant unwieldy wheel so the damned ghosts can eat some lead.
That's right, he can bloody see them. It doesn't matter until they have to actually fight them, though; as long as they can destroy the ship, that should be unnecessary.
"Aim for the sail pole," he instructs Eren, shattering any illusion that they actually know shit about ships, as the boat finally turns the way he wants it to, broadside cannons facing the approaching ghost ship.
finally gets here 10 years late
So far it's not going poorly, and it's not like this ocean-lake is really all that choppy. There's no storm on the horizon. They're fine. Shooting things is possibly fun, or as close to it as Eren really acknowledges these days. Skewed? Sure, but as always: it's not genocide.
Levi doesn't answer his question. He is aware Levi can see ghosts, but he sort of forgets they're a thing here most of the time. He doesn't believe in ghosts, or didn't until now, so they're not often on his mind anyway. Well, even if the ship is driven by magic, they can still take it out.
"Sail pole, got it," he says. He doesn't know much more about ships that go in the water and not in the air, alas. But regardless of the lingo, he understands what it means. He rotates the cannon, a slower process than he'd like, and takes aim.
It's hard to correct for the motion of the waves, though, especially as the ships turns. So when he fires, it misses. Not by much, but it's still a miss. The cannonball blasts a hole through the sale and only grazes the wood of the
mastship pole. Still, it causes the other ship to falter and to slow. Without a functional sail, it's better than completely missing.He turns to pick up another cannonball from the pile of them. He's strong, but it's not the fastest reload in the world.
oops,
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me pretending I know fuck all about ships
same tho,,
feel free to wrap this up next tag?
o/
sex on air - OPEN, men only, 18+ only, tw for sexy content ig
He's not entirely expecting full on lingerie (this picture is nsfw! but for what he's wearing imagine booty shorts to go over that lace) and almost backs out. But it's like any challenge, right? Imagine just backing down because of clothing. It's not as if he's modest to begin with. He spent weeks running around without a shirt or whatever, after all. This feels…more personal.
People look at him, because that's what this is about. He brings drinks, though he's not very good at the entertainment part, but he can bring drinks or food or sit and have a conversation if that's your thing. Feel free to tease him or be suggestive. He's not unreceptive to the idea of where this could lead, but since he's working or whatever, he won't propose it himself.
OR if you're also working, find him taking a break in some employee lounge somewhere, obviously still dressed in lingerie, but away from prying eyes. Wanna blow off some steam? Here's a chance to do that!
Or come up with something else in this setting.
late with starbucks :D
Even though he's not hosting, he still dresses in a way that he finds appropriate for this ship. He's wearing (picture nsfw-ish) an open shirt with a collar and straps across his chest, as well as a pair of black slacks. Around his neck hangs the Neon Gemstone that he wears at all times. He's relaxing into one of the more comfortable pieces of seating, thinking about just having a few drinks and watching the show when a familiar face makes his an appearance, bringing a drink for him.
He scoots over in his seat, there's plenty of room. He's certainly not going to make the other join him, but the invitation is there.
"You look amazing. It'd be a shame to take my eyes off of you." Shamelessly opening with a flirt, as always. It's simply how Eiden is. "If you want, you can sit with me. Or on me." He speaks shamelessly. "I can get you a drink if you want one, too."
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Eiden is always quick with a smile and a flirtatious comment, which is easier to follow along with. Eren's not very good at being flirtatious. He doesn't smile, for one. He's a little bit freer than he was when he and Eiden first met, more of his emotions accessible whether he wants them to be or not.
He lets his eyes slide over Eiden's form, shamelessly. It's a good look for him, the open shirt, those leather straps.
"I think I'm the one supposed to get the drinks," Eren answers. He wishes he was bold enough to literally sit on Eiden's lap, but he's not there yet. He has to warm up to it.
In the meantime, he does accept the offer to sit there next to Eiden. He crosses one leg over the other the way he's seen Yuri do (he's not as graceful at this, but he's not at all clumsy) and sets his arm along the backrest behind Eiden.
"You have anything specific you want?" He could be talking about drinks or whatever, but they're both aware of the kind of ship this is. Eren gets a lot of attention because of how he looks, but his ability to interact with people could use work.
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For now, Edmond accepts the fact that he can't leave just yet. He's wearing a fairly elaborate outfit as he sits and occupies his time and when someone comes close to him he looks up with a faint start and turns slightly pink.
Gods-- there really is no shame here, is there?
"Did you put that on willingly?"
Look he... doesn't really mean to be rude, and the question is a genuine one, but Edmond has a way of being very blunt and especially when he's flustered, and the words just come out of him before he can stop them.
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"Did you put that on willingly?" he asks in return before he can think better of it.
Shit. He hears what he said too late to do anything about it. Looks like they have that kind of thing in common.
"…They're paying me, so."
It's not a direct answer, but it's good enough. He put this on more or less willingly, though Ozymandias talked him into it. He hadn't just done it. It probably sounds worse the way he says it, since it kind of sounds like selling himself for money, even more than it actually is.
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assuming brackets are fine witchu
He's also going to chinhand you, just a little. ]
Not bad.
yep all good
I didn't pick it. But...thanks.
[ Someday he'll be less awkward. But it's not embarrassment today, it's his inability to be a normal person. ]
Yours too.
[ Nailed it. ]
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shibari lessons - CLOSED to Reiner
Either way, they're here now, the bedroom lit this time. Eren stands in front of Reiner looking down at the rope between them.
"You sure?" he asks, as if he's not the one about to let himself get tied up by someone who literally wanted to capture him only months ago. For Eren it was years, but not for Reiner. Eren is dimly aware of how stupid and reckless this is. He could be completely at Reiner's mercy doing something like this, depending on how it goes. He saw some of the demonstrations, the way people's arms and legs were drawn up.
Well, he could always bite his tongue or something if it came to it. But he doesn't think anything bad will happen, simply because neither of them want that. They're doing this to see if it's as sexy as it looks or something. Eren doesn't really think much of the spell aspect. He knows magic is real and spells work, but something about unburdening? Yeah right. There's too much inside him to possibly let any of it go, rope or no rope.
He runs the rope through his hands a little. It's not like rope he's felt before; this is silky, soft to the touch, not stiff or scratchy. He's been tied up and chained up plenty of times, but this? Definitely not.
He holds it back out to Reiner. At least one of them is sure.
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Anyway, this isn't about Reiner finding peace of mind. It's about Eren. It's about erasing whatever haunts Eren's dreams—even if only briefly. That's what the spell is supposed to do, right? Reiner isn't sure if it will work, still having a mental block about certain aspects of magic. But for Eren's sake, he hopes it will.
And if it doesn't? Well, hopefully Eren will still enjoy it. Reiner is damn sure that he'll enjoy the sight alone, all those intricate knots crisscrossing Eren's skin.
While Eren inspects the rope, Reiner glances over a pamphlet detailing various knots one last time, ensuring he has the steps correctly memorized. He practiced these knots in the Underground Mall (albeit on a dummy, not a person); there, the instructor's only advice was that Reiner leave a little more slack in the rope. ("You're not tying up a prisoner," they'd said; Reiner only smiled weakly.) He's confident that he can do this properly.
"I'm sure," Reiner says, accepting the rope, his fingers deliberately brushing Eren's. He lets a smile tease the corners of his lips, leaning forward slightly as he adds, "You're going to look amazing."
He can only hope Eren will feel amazing, too.
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