[ Levi makes a vague hum of acknowledgement at that. He'll take him at his word right now, though he is indeed aware that Eren is willing and able to break his promises. But then... he usually had reasons to do so, didn't he? And as far as Levi knows, that's not an issue here. For now. Maybe it's wishful thinking on his part. ]
...yeah. I know. [ He'd seen it in the metal titan. It's what gave him this idea, actually. Something to help Eren reconnect with the boy he was, an anchor of sorts, gambling on the chance that some things stayed important to him in both ends of his life. Perhaps it's a little early to tell, but he thinks it may have been a good choice. ]
[ ...he probably shouldn't endorse delinquent behavior, but rather than admonishment, there's just a glint of amusement in his eyes. To him, kids getting into fights might just be "normal". Oops. ] Hm. Did you win?
[ Eren does have reasons for breaking promises. Other people might not like or agree with those reasons, but Eren has them in his own mind. He won't just break a promise to break it. Probably.
Some things are still important, even in the tangle of Eren's violence and horror. The Scouts had been everything he wanted; he implied that once, early on, outside at the restaurant gazing at the stars with Levi. He said he got what he wanted, and he had. He'd been one of them.
He still is, Levi says. As much as Eren can cherish anything, he will cherish that.
His mouth twitches, thinking back — maybe experiencing it, tapping into that. He can live in a memory all at once. Just Eren things! ]
Sometimes.
[ It's not a lie, if you count attacked adults with sticks for talking shit as winning. ]
They were all scared, of titans, of the outside world.
[ They were right to be scared of both of those things, but that was never the point for Eren. ]
But what you were doing mattered. They wouldn't see that. I couldn't stand to hear their bullshit.
[ One does not simply stop being a scout. There are people who never actually were scouts, despite joining their regiment. Floch and some of his gang come to mind. It's not just a military division; it's a mindset. Even if Eren's had gotten twisted along the way, even if he was not as interested in exploration and discovery as some of them, a few of the key tenants were still somewhere deep in him; defeat the titans, achieve freedom. ]
[ He did defeat the titans, even, even if the cost was something the others could never agree with. ]
Better than never.
[ Why yes, Levi too had picked some fights with adults when he was that age. The first big one, well, he'd ended up ripping off some faces rather than attacking anyone with a stick, but close enough, right? (...right?) ]
Makes sense to be scared of something ten times your size, I suppose. But the air was always so much clearer outside. People who never breathed it had no idea of the stench they were living their lives in.
[ He doesn't disagree with that one of Eren's sentiments, at least. ]
Yeah. Sometimes Mikasa had to drag me out of trouble.
[ Mikasa didn't tend to fight adults the way Eren did, though she would pretty much always stand up for him if necessary. He hadn't always appreciated it at the time. He was a volatile kid, and he hated how complacent everyone was. He still hates it; there's not much that can shake that out of him. People willing to just die safely in the walls like livestock in pens…he could never accept it. ]
They weren't afraid of titans, not really. They were afraid of losing their way of life. They were so sure that titans could never get to them in the walls, never knowing how close they were that whole time.
[ A few of the wall cult people must have known, but Eren doesn't know or care how many. They were all still fine just dying without ever trying to be free. ]
[ He's completely unsurprised by that. If anything, he's more impressed that apparently Eren managed to drag her into trouble. Maybe that's something the two of them happen to share beside their names; a soft spot for their friends. ]
[ Eren isn't entirely wrong. Plenty of people never gave a thought to the titans. Hell, the Military Police certainly never did; why would a butcher or a tailor? And yet, Levi can't blame them for trying to cling to whatever normalcy they knew. Most people inside the Walls were lucky enough to live in a level of comfort where improving their station wasn't a matter of life and death. Or so they thought. ]
...Wall Maria was a wake up call to many.
[ If only it hadn't demanded a quarter million lives. ]
[ Eren has dragged Mikasa into all sorts of trouble, hasn't he? She joined the military to keep him safe. He doesn't like admitting how often he needed that. Would he be alive without her? Even he isn't sure, though he knows now that he absolutely could not die until he did what he set out to do.
Ironic that she has kept him alive at great cost, considering how this all ends in some other world, in Eren's terrible future. ]
They still hated the Scouts after Wall Maria. We could never do enough for them. Nothing was ever good enough because they just wanted their blind little lives in the walls.
[ His hands tighten a little on the cloak he's holding. He shuts his mouth before he lets it run away further than that. Levi knows Eren's views on the people in the walls. He used to shout about saving humanity, but it was never really about that. It was always a selfish desire, revenge for his mother, a need to never lose anyone like that ever again.
The other people on the island, sure, he'll save (many of) them. He's vaguely aware that he will crush them, too, though. When the walls come down, there isn't time to clear out. Marley and their own military didn't give them time, and the price is the same as it always is in Eren's war: innocent lives that he barely registers. ]
[ ...she's not the only one who has done that, either. ]
[ Eren's life has been paid for with many others. And to think that he'll be the one demanding an even steeper price. Even if it lands them in a world without titans... ]
[ Well, perhaps it makes sense he apparently couldn't bear to see it himself. It's not fair to Mikasa, to Armin, to Jean or Reiner or any of them. But it is what it is. ]
The part where we'd bring them pieces of their loved ones back probably didn't help.
[ It was the King's design, ultimately, an attempt to keep people complacent while allowing the bare minimum of freedom. It was convenient for Survey Corps to exist, so they could poke at them and say, see what happens when you venture out? A cautionary tale was the purpose always intended for them, until Erwin turned it on its head. No wonder the aristocracy wanted him dead before he even got the Commander's spot. ]
[ But even if it frustrates him that others couldn't see what they in the Corps did, he can't fault the common people for focusing on their own every day problems. Most of them just wanted simple, peaceful lives. Both the titans and the truth seekers were a danger to that. ]
[ He exhales a little louder, almost like a soft snort. There's something almost like a shadow of a smile on his face as he looks Eren over; despite the monster, the stubborn, fierce boy he'd met back then still has his fondness. ]
Letting you? I don't think we could have kept you away if we tried.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dreamsofwings) wrote2021-07-13 03:17 am
no subject
...yeah. I know. [ He'd seen it in the metal titan. It's what gave him this idea, actually. Something to help Eren reconnect with the boy he was, an anchor of sorts, gambling on the chance that some things stayed important to him in both ends of his life. Perhaps it's a little early to tell, but he thinks it may have been a good choice. ]
[ ...he probably shouldn't endorse delinquent behavior, but rather than admonishment, there's just a glint of amusement in his eyes. To him, kids getting into fights might just be "normal". Oops. ] Hm. Did you win?
no subject
Some things are still important, even in the tangle of Eren's violence and horror. The Scouts had been everything he wanted; he implied that once, early on, outside at the restaurant gazing at the stars with Levi. He said he got what he wanted, and he had. He'd been one of them.
He still is, Levi says. As much as Eren can cherish anything, he will cherish that.
His mouth twitches, thinking back — maybe experiencing it, tapping into that. He can live in a memory all at once. Just Eren things! ]
Sometimes.
[ It's not a lie, if you count attacked adults with sticks for talking shit as winning. ]
They were all scared, of titans, of the outside world.
[ They were right to be scared of both of those things, but that was never the point for Eren. ]
But what you were doing mattered. They wouldn't see that. I couldn't stand to hear their bullshit.
no subject
[ One does not simply stop being a scout. There are people who never actually were scouts, despite joining their regiment. Floch and some of his gang come to mind. It's not just a military division; it's a mindset. Even if Eren's had gotten twisted along the way, even if he was not as interested in exploration and discovery as some of them, a few of the key tenants were still somewhere deep in him; defeat the titans, achieve freedom. ]
[ He did defeat the titans, even, even if the cost was something the others could never agree with. ]
Better than never.
[ Why yes, Levi too had picked some fights with adults when he was that age. The first big one, well, he'd ended up ripping off some faces rather than attacking anyone with a stick, but close enough, right? (...right?) ]
Makes sense to be scared of something ten times your size, I suppose. But the air was always so much clearer outside. People who never breathed it had no idea of the stench they were living their lives in.
[ He doesn't disagree with that one of Eren's sentiments, at least. ]
no subject
[ Mikasa didn't tend to fight adults the way Eren did, though she would pretty much always stand up for him if necessary. He hadn't always appreciated it at the time. He was a volatile kid, and he hated how complacent everyone was. He still hates it; there's not much that can shake that out of him. People willing to just die safely in the walls like livestock in pens…he could never accept it. ]
They weren't afraid of titans, not really. They were afraid of losing their way of life. They were so sure that titans could never get to them in the walls, never knowing how close they were that whole time.
[ A few of the wall cult people must have known, but Eren doesn't know or care how many. They were all still fine just dying without ever trying to be free. ]
no subject
[ He's completely unsurprised by that. If anything, he's more impressed that apparently Eren managed to drag her into trouble. Maybe that's something the two of them happen to share beside their names; a soft spot for their friends. ]
[ Eren isn't entirely wrong. Plenty of people never gave a thought to the titans. Hell, the Military Police certainly never did; why would a butcher or a tailor? And yet, Levi can't blame them for trying to cling to whatever normalcy they knew. Most people inside the Walls were lucky enough to live in a level of comfort where improving their station wasn't a matter of life and death. Or so they thought. ]
...Wall Maria was a wake up call to many.
[ If only it hadn't demanded a quarter million lives. ]
no subject
Ironic that she has kept him alive at great cost, considering how this all ends in some other world, in Eren's terrible future. ]
They still hated the Scouts after Wall Maria. We could never do enough for them. Nothing was ever good enough because they just wanted their blind little lives in the walls.
[ His hands tighten a little on the cloak he's holding. He shuts his mouth before he lets it run away further than that. Levi knows Eren's views on the people in the walls. He used to shout about saving humanity, but it was never really about that. It was always a selfish desire, revenge for his mother, a need to never lose anyone like that ever again.
The other people on the island, sure, he'll save (many of) them. He's vaguely aware that he will crush them, too, though. When the walls come down, there isn't time to clear out. Marley and their own military didn't give them time, and the price is the same as it always is in Eren's war: innocent lives that he barely registers. ]
Thank you. For letting me be one of you.
[ Then. Now. Whenever. ]
no subject
[ Eren's life has been paid for with many others. And to think that he'll be the one demanding an even steeper price. Even if it lands them in a world without titans... ]
[ Well, perhaps it makes sense he apparently couldn't bear to see it himself. It's not fair to Mikasa, to Armin, to Jean or Reiner or any of them. But it is what it is. ]
The part where we'd bring them pieces of their loved ones back probably didn't help.
[ It was the King's design, ultimately, an attempt to keep people complacent while allowing the bare minimum of freedom. It was convenient for Survey Corps to exist, so they could poke at them and say, see what happens when you venture out? A cautionary tale was the purpose always intended for them, until Erwin turned it on its head. No wonder the aristocracy wanted him dead before he even got the Commander's spot. ]
[ But even if it frustrates him that others couldn't see what they in the Corps did, he can't fault the common people for focusing on their own every day problems. Most of them just wanted simple, peaceful lives. Both the titans and the truth seekers were a danger to that. ]
[ He exhales a little louder, almost like a soft snort. There's something almost like a shadow of a smile on his face as he looks Eren over; despite the monster, the stubborn, fierce boy he'd met back then still has his fondness. ]
Letting you? I don't think we could have kept you away if we tried.
[ You're welcome. ]