[ Well, he did live (somehow, someplace, technically), and now he has to deal with the consequences. Didn't plan for that, now did he? Perhaps he should worry less about being perceived free and more about being a person, not that he hasn't been making huge strides in that so far. ]
[ (Levi does not have a profile. Hange does, however, and as it turns out, they share quite a lot of things between them...) ]
[ It is perhaps (very tangentially) about Reiner, but more than that, it's about what he represents for Eren. It's... a coming of age of sorts, or a realization of it, or maybe Levi deciding that he's proven he's enough of a person now to be regarded as such. As far as he's concerned, there are some important milestones to becoming a man an adult, and clearly being able to dress the part was one of them. ]
[ Nobody had been there for him at that moment -- the closest he got was probably Kenny letting him wear his hat once as a child or something -- and damn him if he's not going to be there for Eren when he has nobody else and they literally live under the same roof. No, that just won't do. ]
[ The mutual staring continues. ]
That you need, sure. But we're not struggling to survive right now, Eren. We should take advantage of that while it lasts.
[ Because it's never a given that it will. Hasn't he learned anything from the lessons Levi did try to impart on them? ]
[ For better or worse, Levi is the closest thing Eren has had to an adult male influence in his life for several years. His dad wasn't the monster Zeke (and probably others? maybe even Levi and Hange?) believes him to be. He was as good a father as he knew how to be.
But he was always going to die that year, or was it the next? Eren was never going to grow up with him. And if he had, would he have had talks like this one? Did Grisha care at all about clothing? Maybe as far as looking like a respectable doctor.
But that path was never an option even if Eren hadn't influenced the past/future. And until now, Levi had much more important concerns with regards to Eren.
He's worn a suit before. Who picked that one he wore to Marley that first time? But he ditched that, left it covered it blood or something somewhere. The closest he's come to dressing up was Folkmore induced goth clothes.
At least the subject matter isn't something he did wrong or a floor he has to rewash. Though he doesn't entirely get why this matters. But he does relax a little again.
He glances down at his current shirt, a nondescript grey t-shirt like most of what he owns. He owns enough of them to get through a week, which is actually amazing. Different shirt every day? Wild. So what if they all look fairly the same! ]
No. Just ones like this. And a long-sleeved one.
[ That he never wears because if he's cold he just puts on a jacket. It's also never cold in the city proper unless you're dying of some freezing disease, apparently. ]
[ It's probably both. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. At least he doesn't seem to have picked up the poop jokes habit?.. ]
[ Do Levi and Hange even know the extent of Grisha's role in everything? They weren't there when Rod Reiss talked about it under the chapel, though perhaps Eren had included it in his reports later. At least until then, they probably just knew him as a doctor. ]
[ Levi definitely appreciates Eren changing his shirt daily, though. Years of life in and near soldier barracks have definitely left him less sensitive about BO but he strongly preferred not to suffer it when he had any semblance of choice. That's what fucking laundry and showers were for after all. Anyway. He gives the shirt a scrutinizing look. ]
Even if you're not planning to find a job in the city, you might end up in a situation where you want to make a good first impression. [ Is it also career day now? What is this? Levi's expression looks slightly more suffering as he figures he may as well sort of reference the whole Reiner thing (or whoever else it might end up being), but apparently it's normal adolescent stuff so maybe this will sway him; ] Or simply to look nice for someone. It's good to have options.
[ Grisha's involvement beyond what was in his diaries is something Eren hopes no one ever knows, because it paints Eren in a worse light. It's the ultimate horrifying truth, Eren's own responsibility in everything that has happened and will happen. Not every single thing has been his fault. The Walls being attacked sure as hell wasn't. But it's too much to bear.
That's part of what ruined him, the knowledge but the lack of total context. He still doesn't really understand the how. There are memories that Eren still keeps from Eren. What a fun and not at all confusing time.
Maybe shit jokes wouldn't be a terrible thing to pick up though. He could use a sense of humour, even a bad one.
He frowns a little at the first impression comment. Who the hell even cares? He showers and doesn't look like a mess, isn't that enough? He discovered conditioner, even, so his hair is always nice! Come on, Captain, give a guy a break.
Oh. Oh, no. It gets worse. Levi too? Levi's going to ask him about Reiner too? Of all the things he assumed Levi doesn't care about...
He can feel his face colour. Stupid too easy blush response. Goddamnit. This is why no feelings was better! ]
I...guess...
[ Well at least he's not totally immune to being a pain in the ass: ]
What kind of things do you go to where you wanna make a good first impression?
[ Well. If shit jokes can help at all with the foreboding storm of Eren fucking Eren up beyond repair, then by all means, he should pick up as many of them as he can carry. Levi doesn't know that part, but he already knows enough to be unsettled, to feel even worse about everything that went down. To hope this Eren never has to go back. ]
[ The blush is unexpected, and Levi almost feels bad about it, but no. That sure is a person response, and he welcomes it, supports it. That shell, formerly Eren, that thing on the airship certainly was not capable of blushing at anything he said. This is good. They've been making the right choices. ]
[ If one of them is embarrassing the hell out of the brat, then so be it. ]
[ It's the same thing about the brattiness, even if Levi is slightly less fond of it purely for the fact that it's a pain the ass to deal with, but he supposes the cost is worth it. Still, that doesn't mean he won't be a little asshole back; he stares at Eren, tone and expression completely flat. ]
The book club.
[ HE SURE AIN'T NO PART OF ANY BOOK CLUB but it's pretty much a "what business do you have with this information" response. Probably. ]
It is indeed an absurd question. Reiner manages to keep his dubious look restrained, merely cocking an eyebrow as if to say, "Well, yeah." Eren is the most vengeful person Reiner has ever met. If Eren decided to ruin Reiner's birthday and their date at the same time, it would hurt, but it wouldn't necessarily come as a surprise.
But they like this better when they're not angry at each other, right? This nameless, fragile thing that allows them to walk beneath cherry blossoms hand-in-hand? So Reiner keeps his expression restrained, and Eren doesn't throw bad news in his face.
Instead, Eren picks at his thumb, visibly nervous. Reiner's brows pinch together, fingers twitching as he fights the impulse to reach out and grasp Eren's hand in his. Wanting to steady him. Wanting to give him something else to scratch at if that's what he needs to do. (Better Reiner's hand than Eren's, right?)
Then Eren says … what he says.
Reiner stares, not processing it. Slowly, he runs the words through his head again. The leaders can't sense a curse. The magic that pulled them here canceled it out. Canceled their death sentences. Canceled the Curse of Ymir. The leaders can't…
His hand reaches for Eren's, an instinctive move that Reiner doesn't register until he finds Eren's hand clasped in his. Who is steadying who? He can't honestly say.
"Are they sure?" he asks, the words coming out more cautious than celebratory.
Reiner has known his expiration date since he was ten years old; like Eren, he has no idea how to deal with this revelation.
[ Eren still longs for numbness sometimes, but…less than he did. It's not the horror that he can't face (though who can ever face such a thing, really?). It's the everyday things, Levi's hand on his shoulder or Hange's casual hugs or Armin's curiosity or Reiner's fingers between his. The mundane things that spark emotion are a lot harder to live with, all things considered. There's nothing for it now, though. He'll just have to deal with it.
He stares back at Levi again. Book club, his ass. Maybe Levi does read books for fun, he has no idea, but he's aware that's a bullshit answer. ]
…Uh-huh. So we're going shopping for shirts with buttons?
[ He's obtuse half on purpose, but it's not all adolescent nonsense. He's not sure what Levi thinks good impression means when it comes to clothes. His own taste in clothes, like so much else in a life he has refused to have, is nonexistent. Maybe that's the point or whatever, but it doesn't mean he totally grasps it yet. ]
Reiner more or less lets him off the hook with that stupid ass question, luckily for both of them. Eren has no idea how other people work together as a thing, but maybe it's always like this: having the power to hurt someone and choosing not to use it, over and over again, because it's better if you don't do that.
He can't always make that choice. He really is the most vengeful person alive, after all, willing to take on the entire world and burn it to ash not for the death of humanity or some noble but for and old hate the threat against a dozen people that matter to him. Sure, freedom for Eldians, safety for Paradis, but those will always be secondary to what is personal to Eren.
He watches Reiner's face as the other boy absorbs the information, spins it around, decides what to do with it. He knows it's a hard thing to accept; he's not sure sure if he's totally accepted it either. And he's only known about the timer on his life since they reached the basement, what, five years ago or something like that? Reiner's always known.
His hand is right there when Reiner reaches for him, without question or thought, just a reaction that feels as easy as breathing. Funny, when he's half-holding his breath.
"Yeah. They're sure," he says. "The captain and Hange found out, and when I went there, Dawn said she could sense a 'curse' but it isn't something shortening my lifespan."
He's also careful. He wouldn't be very celebratory anyway; he hasn't really reached a point where he's good at emoting things like that. It's hard to imagine in general.
"You know, I never planned for an after," he says. Of course he didn't, and how could he? He has no idea (even now) if the titan curse will end forever. He has no idea what happens after he dies. All that mattered to him was reaching the end, whether that meant killing every single person that wasn't on the island or dying himself or both.
But even if he had somehow been swayed, he was always going to die. Everyone is, sure, but titan shifters only get thirteen years, and Eren has stormed through most of those already. So has Reiner, he knows.
"I didn't really plan on now," he says, an admission he will not elaborate on. He's already told Reiner he didn't expect to live until 20. It's enough.
"I have no idea what to do, but with the amount of weird shit magic can do…I guess I kind of believe it."
I did! He also gave me ice cream cake in return when it was my birthday! That's progress, right? Considering the first time we met I thought he was going to try and fight me, I think things are going well!
[It is for once a very normal conversation! The original topic may have long passed, but Hange is content to just keep chatting about whatever until Eren has had enough.]
Is it related to a hamburger? I had one of those at the beach, but it wasn't made of ham. It was made of cow? Cowburger?
I'm glad. I know he has a hard time because of when he came from.
He got me cake too since he missed my birthday. Wouldn't take no for an answer.
Hamburger is the same thing but cheeseburger has cheese on it. I think they just call them that even though it's not ham. Weird right? But they're so good.
We also had milkshakes. Which is like ice cream but you drink it. And onion rings which is onions but they're covered in bread or something and fried. Also amazing!
It must be hard, being taken from home and being surrounded by people you believe to be your enemies...
[Oh, he got Eren a cake too... how cute.]
He's a nice guy. I like him! But I already liked Gabi a lot too so I suppose it runs in the family!
Oh so you just add cheese? Then next time I will try it like that! I also had some hotdogs when I went on a mission a couple months ago with a new friend I made. Interestingly enough they aren't made out of dogs at all! Those ones ARE made of pork!
Hmm what else.. I haven't tried a milkshake yet but I had smoothies! In fact I bought a device from the department store that lets you smash up fruit and make your own, so if you ever want to use it you are welcome to.
[ He might just be considering picking up reading as a hobby (ha, better start catching up on hobbies, Eren), but he's certainly no avid bookworm either way. He's probably learned later than most kids, considering... everything, so it's not as entirely effortless as for some people. ]
[ The staring continues. Maybe it's just the way they communicate nowadays. ]
Among other things. We're getting you a suit. And dress shoes.
[ There, the mystery is finally cleared and it only took... however many minutes of complete awkwardness! ]
It's easier to absorb the news with Eren's hand held in his. Easier to remain balanced with that strong, solid grasp steadying him, hands that could inflict so many wounds choosing instead to cling. It's easier with that mirrored heat telling Reiner that he isn't alone, green eyes embracing him.
It's easier. That doesn't mean it's easy.
Reiner has known when he would die since he was ten years old. But even before that, he knew what becoming a Warrior would entail. He knew the price he would pay, quartering his lifespan for the honor of carrying a Titan in his veins. He did it for his mother, wanting her to have a better life. For his father, not knowing that the man considered him a devil. For himself, desperately wishing to be a worthy son: someone his parents could proudly call their own; someone to whom acceptance, approval, and love would flow without condition.
Well, almost without condition. The only condition was that he died at twenty-three.
Reiner accepted that so long ago, readily sacrificing one piece of himself after another, carving himself up until he doesn't know who the hell Reiner Braun is anymore. To learn that he suddenly has more time…
He squeezes Eren's hand. Focuses on Eren's eyes, Eren's words. Gratitude rises within him—not about the news, but about the fact that he isn't alone in dealing with it.
"Yeah," Reiner agrees. "I didn't plan on much, either."
Not beyond becoming a "hero," a plan ground to dust beneath his father's heel, the remnants washed away by Marcel's blood.
"If we were back home, I'd call it bullshit. Just wishful thinking. But…" His gaze dips, resting somewhere around Eren's collarbone. "… You're right about magic doing weird stuff. This place doesn't care about time. Why would it care about a time-based curse?"
He's quiet for a moment before his eyes return to Eren's. A new light flickers within them, more determination than hope. "Maybe we can steal more time than we thought."
[ THAT IS NOT A FUCKING HOBBY. Okay, it is fucking, but it's still not a hobby. Making cookies counts, though. Maybe they should have a bake-sale at some point; Levi's chocolate bread turned out to be quite a hit with Hange, too, though he rarely bothers with things like that. ]
Good. I'm getting one myself, so you can come with. It'll be easier.
[ As soon as they're finished with whatever else may need to be done before this trip, they're heading out into the city. Whatever tailor Levi has picked seems to be located a fair distance away, so there's going to be some walking involved. ]
[ There's probably more awkward silence during it, too, but it may or may not be preferable to Levi continuing to impart life wisdom on Eren. ]
--right, so. This place is real fucking fancy, so when the tailor asks if you dress left or right he's actually asking where you put your dick--
[ Imagine what weird things they'd come up with for a bake sale! They could all do with a hobby. Everyone making stuff in someone else's big kitchen. Jean and Mikasa maybe.
In the meantime, though! ]
Sure.
[ It's not like Eren is high maintenance about leaving the house or anything so it doesn't take long for him to be ready, following Levi down into the city. He doesn't really initiate much conversation either. What the hell is he supposed to talk about? They talk about Annika when it's on; it's become a whole thing with various people crowding couches. Maybe they discovered popcorn this way.
He manages whatever small talk but then Levi blindsides him with…that.
He can feel his face colour. Why would they even ask that? ]
…You're making that up.
[ Not that Levi is known for being funny, but he does have a terrible sense of humour and Eren is aware of that. ]
[ Reiner breathes a sigh of relief, tension draining from his body. If Eren will leave Porco alone, they have a much better chance of preventing this from exploding in their faces. And if Reiner can just get Hange to agree to a non-aggression pact, he might (finally) be able to relax for more than a few hours at a time. ]
Thank you, Eren. It
[ And then Eren sends another text, and Reiner's finger slips, preemptively sending the half-written message. ]
[ Immediately, that tension returns to Reiner's shoulders, winding them tight. He clenches his jaw, trying to quell the helpless frustration rising within him. Is that why this agreement has taken so long? Is Reiner the only one who gives two shits about it?
What the hell is he supposed to say to that…? Will he have to ask Eren not to attack each Warrior who arrives? Will he be the only one protecting them from Eren, and Eren from them? ]
Page 8 of 18