Maybe in another life they could have fought the world and its order together. Maybe in another life they could have understood one another sooner. Maybe. Maybe.
For now they have to settle for this, broken pieces they can alternately harm each other with or try not to harm each other with. Softness found in surprising places. The thought of what they could be if they weren't already something else, enemies, monsters, unforgivable.
Eren has long given up on the idea of life, of what comes after, because there is no after. There was only his terrible end, the end of the world and all its ills. Or not? What does he know? He hopes some of them survive it. He desperately wants them to, to give his insane actions some meaning. They have to live. But he can't.
For a few moments here, he almost contemplates it. This place. The after. The connections he has unwittingly cultivated with other people, ties he tried to sever and couldn't. Even Reiner doesn't only hate him. Even Reiner could be someone Eren would protect. He was once. Funny how everything always circles around again.
Naive as hell, that's right.
Reiner moves away, slowly, and Eren lets him. There's some reluctance in the way his own hands move, letting go or falling away. He has both feet on the ground again but it feels less steady somehow. They're both a mess (in many ways).
He looks down at his hands, his clothes.
He pulls off his shirt and uses that to clean up a little before he fastens his trousers again. Was that smart? Not at all, but it's not like he had a towel. Whatever. Levi probably won't be home and even if he is, is he really going to ask questions about why Eren rolled up missing a shirt? Unlikely.
But Eren isn't even considering that.
He holds his shirt out to Reiner. Better than nothing.
He doesn't trust himself to speak. He knows how he is. He'll ruin this shaky peace if he speaks.
no subject
For now they have to settle for this, broken pieces they can alternately harm each other with or try not to harm each other with. Softness found in surprising places. The thought of what they could be if they weren't already something else, enemies, monsters, unforgivable.
Eren has long given up on the idea of life, of what comes after, because there is no after. There was only his terrible end, the end of the world and all its ills. Or not? What does he know? He hopes some of them survive it. He desperately wants them to, to give his insane actions some meaning. They have to live. But he can't.
For a few moments here, he almost contemplates it. This place. The after. The connections he has unwittingly cultivated with other people, ties he tried to sever and couldn't. Even Reiner doesn't only hate him. Even Reiner could be someone Eren would protect. He was once. Funny how everything always circles around again.
Naive as hell, that's right.
Reiner moves away, slowly, and Eren lets him. There's some reluctance in the way his own hands move, letting go or falling away. He has both feet on the ground again but it feels less steady somehow. They're both a mess (in many ways).
He looks down at his hands, his clothes.
He pulls off his shirt and uses that to clean up a little before he fastens his trousers again. Was that smart? Not at all, but it's not like he had a towel. Whatever. Levi probably won't be home and even if he is, is he really going to ask questions about why Eren rolled up missing a shirt? Unlikely.
But Eren isn't even considering that.
He holds his shirt out to Reiner. Better than nothing.
He doesn't trust himself to speak. He knows how he is. He'll ruin this shaky peace if he speaks.