Eren feels it immediately, the stutter that breaks the rhythm. He half-expects that he's pushed too hard, let his mouth run too far, that Reiner will shove himself away from this wall and away from Eren and leave. It wouldn't be the first time in the last ten minutes that Eren misjudged something. He holds on, unwilling to let that happen.
But no. That's not what happens at all. He got the start of this wrong but he didn't get this part wrong. Sure, the Marley thing was a gamble, and it will probably leave Reiner with questions later. Maybe the curiosity will burn. Maybe he'll have to come demand answers. Whether Eren will give them or not is another matter. But it's fine. They can't quite let go of each other, can they, at home or here or maybe anywhere. Some of that is still Eren's own doing now, seeds planted on purpose for reasons Eren himself couldn't even quite articulate.
Reiner doesn't leave. Eren wonders what he thinks. He could guess. A couple guesses might not be far off. He wonders if he'd choke if he was on his knees instead of up against the wall. Reiner is big all over, right? He gets stuck on that for a second, mouth open and hot against Reiner's skin. Reiner makes the ghost of a sound against his ear that he couldn't have even dreamed up and there are too many layers between them. Which one of them did Eren think he was playing, again? He thinks he has the upper hand because he can say things like that, but that's half delusional. He loses it again with just that edge of a sound, before Reiner even manages to say anything back.
Liar.
Obviously. But there might have been another point -- a point Reiner doesn't know about -- where he was so far gone that he'd have done anything just to feel again. He could never have risked it, but part of him entertains the thought here for a minute, Reiner's hands and mouth on him in his hometown and not Eren's, Eren's fake injuries or not.
What the hell is even wrong with him. He's self-aware enough to know how fucked up that is, even the weird fantasy of it. Who the hell would think such a thing? Who the hell would think such a thing and rock their hips harder and have to bite down against their enemy's skin to keep from making some embarrassing sort of sound about hardly anything? Couldn't be him.
The extra meanings in Reiner's words aren't lost on him. Those words are probably true in as many different ways as they're meant.
"Fuck," he says after that, shaky, head falling back against Reiner's hand and the wall for a moment. He tries to recover his thoughts but he's not entirely successful. Reiner moves his hand further up Eren's leg and Eren's torn. He likes this, the press of them against each other, the mash of their hips together.
No. It's not enough. It's too much and they're both fucking stupid and they should have stopped long before now and it is not enough. He doesn't really have room to work Reiner's pants open with one hand. So he drags his nails down again, blunt edges all the way down Reiner's neck, that threat over his nape again because he can't not do it, before finally shoving that hand between them too.
It's a sort of tug of war with himself, really, because he doesn't want Reiner to move, but he needs him to enough so he can get his hands in his pants.
Unfortunately for Eren, his need gives way to honesty more than manipulation. He might get it back, find some other awful thing to say, once he gets more of what he wants. For now, his mouth runs away with him. He's always gotten into trouble that way, hasn't he? Screaming emotional things into the air at titans, at his friends, at Reiner himself.
This is a lot quieter, at least.
"Come on," he says, too fast, "I wanna feel you."
Much too honest, too close to the truth. If only he meant something purely physical. He tells himself that's what he means and he can try to believe that lie for awhile. At the same time, he's mad at himself for saying anything at all. If it was just something dirty or scathing, fine, but that? That's what he managed to say? Like he's some needy barely-not-a-teenager in an alleyway instead of someone orchestrating yet another atrocity? Ugh.
"Reiner," he says again, but he bites down again, his own lip this time, turning any other words into garbled sounds instead. Wouldn't want to say something revealing like please, not after all that effort.
no subject
But no. That's not what happens at all. He got the start of this wrong but he didn't get this part wrong. Sure, the Marley thing was a gamble, and it will probably leave Reiner with questions later. Maybe the curiosity will burn. Maybe he'll have to come demand answers. Whether Eren will give them or not is another matter. But it's fine. They can't quite let go of each other, can they, at home or here or maybe anywhere. Some of that is still Eren's own doing now, seeds planted on purpose for reasons Eren himself couldn't even quite articulate.
Reiner doesn't leave. Eren wonders what he thinks. He could guess. A couple guesses might not be far off. He wonders if he'd choke if he was on his knees instead of up against the wall. Reiner is big all over, right? He gets stuck on that for a second, mouth open and hot against Reiner's skin. Reiner makes the ghost of a sound against his ear that he couldn't have even dreamed up and there are too many layers between them. Which one of them did Eren think he was playing, again? He thinks he has the upper hand because he can say things like that, but that's half delusional. He loses it again with just that edge of a sound, before Reiner even manages to say anything back.
Liar.
Obviously. But there might have been another point -- a point Reiner doesn't know about -- where he was so far gone that he'd have done anything just to feel again. He could never have risked it, but part of him entertains the thought here for a minute, Reiner's hands and mouth on him in his hometown and not Eren's, Eren's fake injuries or not.
What the hell is even wrong with him. He's self-aware enough to know how fucked up that is, even the weird fantasy of it. Who the hell would think such a thing? Who the hell would think such a thing and rock their hips harder and have to bite down against their enemy's skin to keep from making some embarrassing sort of sound about hardly anything? Couldn't be him.
The extra meanings in Reiner's words aren't lost on him. Those words are probably true in as many different ways as they're meant.
"Fuck," he says after that, shaky, head falling back against Reiner's hand and the wall for a moment. He tries to recover his thoughts but he's not entirely successful. Reiner moves his hand further up Eren's leg and Eren's torn. He likes this, the press of them against each other, the mash of their hips together.
No. It's not enough. It's too much and they're both fucking stupid and they should have stopped long before now and it is not enough. He doesn't really have room to work Reiner's pants open with one hand. So he drags his nails down again, blunt edges all the way down Reiner's neck, that threat over his nape again because he can't not do it, before finally shoving that hand between them too.
It's a sort of tug of war with himself, really, because he doesn't want Reiner to move, but he needs him to enough so he can get his hands in his pants.
Unfortunately for Eren, his need gives way to honesty more than manipulation. He might get it back, find some other awful thing to say, once he gets more of what he wants. For now, his mouth runs away with him. He's always gotten into trouble that way, hasn't he? Screaming emotional things into the air at titans, at his friends, at Reiner himself.
This is a lot quieter, at least.
"Come on," he says, too fast, "I wanna feel you."
Much too honest, too close to the truth. If only he meant something purely physical. He tells himself that's what he means and he can try to believe that lie for awhile. At the same time, he's mad at himself for saying anything at all. If it was just something dirty or scathing, fine, but that? That's what he managed to say? Like he's some needy barely-not-a-teenager in an alleyway instead of someone orchestrating yet another atrocity? Ugh.
"Reiner," he says again, but he bites down again, his own lip this time, turning any other words into garbled sounds instead. Wouldn't want to say something revealing like please, not after all that effort.