[ There aren't many people that Eren would let touch his neck at all. It's his biggest physical weakness, after all. And Levi is the deadliest when it comes to killing titans. But Levi touching his neck like this, steady and real, while they kiss, is everything he wants.
Well. Not everything. In this moment, it's enough.
It should be him, Eren thinks. Not Armin. Not Mikasa. Not a gunshot from across the yard. It should always have been Levi. What a morbid thought to have in the middle of this unexpected intimacy, one of the only things in the past year and change that has truly taken Eren by surprise.
Despite all of his yelling about it, Eren knows now the awful truth that he has never been free. They were not free inside the walls. They are not free outside the walls. Eren himself is bound by a fate of his own making, a fate of the world twisting him in knots, the consequence of a boy with too much rage and too much power, generational trauma spiralling outward. He will consume the whole world with that fate. A slave to his freedom.
But.
There is now this choice. Are they damning everyone on the island? Probably. Is there another way, something between eradication of Paradis and eradication of the world? Eren thinks — knows — there is not.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! Eren holds on to Levi like a lifeline and kisses him like he will never get to kiss anyone again.
It is freeing, though, to make a different choice, something he had not foreseen. Levi told him once to make a choice and live with it. So he does.
Eventually even titan shifters have to breathe and he gasps softly with the intake of air, still holding on and unwilling to let go. ]
What do we do now? I don't want you to die.
[ That's his fear, after all. He doesn't really care if the island gets wrecked. The Rumbling would wreck half of it anyway. He cares about Levi, and his other friends, the closeknit family that was left after Zeke killed pretty much all the Scouts. They have to live. Most of them, if not all of them, have to live. ]
no subject
Well. Not everything. In this moment, it's enough.
It should be him, Eren thinks. Not Armin. Not Mikasa. Not a gunshot from across the yard. It should always have been Levi. What a morbid thought to have in the middle of this unexpected intimacy, one of the only things in the past year and change that has truly taken Eren by surprise.
Despite all of his yelling about it, Eren knows now the awful truth that he has never been free. They were not free inside the walls. They are not free outside the walls. Eren himself is bound by a fate of his own making, a fate of the world twisting him in knots, the consequence of a boy with too much rage and too much power, generational trauma spiralling outward. He will consume the whole world with that fate. A slave to his freedom.
But.
There is now this choice. Are they damning everyone on the island? Probably. Is there another way, something between eradication of Paradis and eradication of the world? Eren thinks — knows — there is not.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! Eren holds on to Levi like a lifeline and kisses him like he will never get to kiss anyone again.
It is freeing, though, to make a different choice, something he had not foreseen. Levi told him once to make a choice and live with it. So he does.
Eventually even titan shifters have to breathe and he gasps softly with the intake of air, still holding on and unwilling to let go. ]
What do we do now? I don't want you to die.
[ That's his fear, after all. He doesn't really care if the island gets wrecked. The Rumbling would wreck half of it anyway. He cares about Levi, and his other friends, the closeknit family that was left after Zeke killed pretty much all the Scouts. They have to live. Most of them, if not all of them, have to live. ]