[ Eren is visibly surprised by Levi's answer. He's not sure what he'd been expecting. Rejection, probably. Some hesitation, maybe? But even that had seemed hopeful.
In all of his idea of future and (lack of) possibility, he never let himself truly think that Levi cared about him as more than a subordinate. Levi cares about a lot of people; that's not obvious if you don't know him, but Eren has long realised that under his shit jokes and rough manner, Levi cares a whole hell of a lot.
He just never thought it was all that personal. It was too much to hope for.
Now, he reaches for one of Levi's hands with both of his. He's never been subtle or hesitant; that's just not how Eren is. Given an inch, he'll take ten miles. This is him holding back. ]
I'm going to die, Captain. I've been dead since the day we met.
[ There's anguish in those words. They're true, but fuck he wants things to be different. If he stays, he will damn the island to destruction. And he will die anyway, because that's the fate of titan shifters. If he stays, he will damn the world to more war, more fear of Eldians.
They will never be safe.
They will always be running.
But one of his shitty truths is that Eren does not really care about the future, not in a grand sense. He wants Levi and the others to live long lives. He wants them to be happy (as if killing the world would ever accomplish that?). He will not accept Zeke's genocide, the end of all Eldians, the inability for any of them to have kids if they want to.
Beyond that, though? That's not really his problem or his concern.
For the first time in a long time, he thinks about what it would mean in a personal sense, to stay. ]
no subject
In all of his idea of future and (lack of) possibility, he never let himself truly think that Levi cared about him as more than a subordinate. Levi cares about a lot of people; that's not obvious if you don't know him, but Eren has long realised that under his shit jokes and rough manner, Levi cares a whole hell of a lot.
He just never thought it was all that personal. It was too much to hope for.
Now, he reaches for one of Levi's hands with both of his. He's never been subtle or hesitant; that's just not how Eren is. Given an inch, he'll take ten miles. This is him holding back. ]
I'm going to die, Captain. I've been dead since the day we met.
[ There's anguish in those words. They're true, but fuck he wants things to be different. If he stays, he will damn the island to destruction. And he will die anyway, because that's the fate of titan shifters. If he stays, he will damn the world to more war, more fear of Eldians.
They will never be safe.
They will always be running.
But one of his shitty truths is that Eren does not really care about the future, not in a grand sense. He wants Levi and the others to live long lives. He wants them to be happy (as if killing the world would ever accomplish that?). He will not accept Zeke's genocide, the end of all Eldians, the inability for any of them to have kids if they want to.
Beyond that, though? That's not really his problem or his concern.
For the first time in a long time, he thinks about what it would mean in a personal sense, to stay. ]