Eren likes to say he's the same as he's always been since the day he was born, but of course that's not true. It never could be. He had been softer when he was a kid, before his mother died, but even then he was a murderer at nine. That was all his own doing, seeing the men who murdered Mikasa's parents as animals who deserved to die. He's sure continued that pattern, even if he's not exactly the same as he was then.
He's never really expected to be handled softly, certainly not after the things he's done (will do). He doesn't deserve it. It isn't that he doesn't want it, though he had convinced himself he didn't. Reiner touches him like he matters, like he's nothing besides human, like they aren't both monsters. It's nice to pretend that. Well, maybe the first part is true; maybe he does still matter. Jury's out in his head on that one.
He wants more than that, of course. There's more than softness threading through Eren's desires, through both of their desires. But this date thing so far isn't bad.
Freedom, he thinks, to be who he wants to be (whoever that is) with whoever he wants. No war. No Rumbling. Those are ever-present in his memories, but this stolen time is hard won and there is so much he would do to hold onto it.
"Pretty sure it's beef," Eren says. He had asked once, but now he's not sure if there are other kinds. The regular kind is fine by him, though.
Wandering through the streets towards vendors and restaurants, eventually they find a place that does, in fact, have burgers. It has other things, sandwiches and some fried things. Milkshakes, which Eren hasn't heard of before and is having a hard time picturing what that word must mean, not realising it's basically ice cream.
Soda he knows, at least. Soda is one of the strangest things he's ever had, actually, but he likes it because he likes sensation.
"I have no idea what half this stuff is," he says, leaning closer to Reiner so he can speak low enough to not be embarrassing.
no subject
He's never really expected to be handled softly, certainly not after the things he's done (will do). He doesn't deserve it. It isn't that he doesn't want it, though he had convinced himself he didn't. Reiner touches him like he matters, like he's nothing besides human, like they aren't both monsters. It's nice to pretend that. Well, maybe the first part is true; maybe he does still matter. Jury's out in his head on that one.
He wants more than that, of course. There's more than softness threading through Eren's desires, through both of their desires. But this date thing so far isn't bad.
Freedom, he thinks, to be who he wants to be (whoever that is) with whoever he wants. No war. No Rumbling. Those are ever-present in his memories, but this stolen time is hard won and there is so much he would do to hold onto it.
"Pretty sure it's beef," Eren says. He had asked once, but now he's not sure if there are other kinds. The regular kind is fine by him, though.
Wandering through the streets towards vendors and restaurants, eventually they find a place that does, in fact, have burgers. It has other things, sandwiches and some fried things. Milkshakes, which Eren hasn't heard of before and is having a hard time picturing what that word must mean, not realising it's basically ice cream.
Soda he knows, at least. Soda is one of the strangest things he's ever had, actually, but he likes it because he likes sensation.
"I have no idea what half this stuff is," he says, leaning closer to Reiner so he can speak low enough to not be embarrassing.